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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: why?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tinasha
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Oklahoma City
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 100/142/41
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 991
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805



    Description:
       a perfect example of how a mind wonders from subject to subject....most of it having nothing to do with the next thought....but all of it having something to do with me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhy?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    why is the stupid sky blue and not purple
    why do the weeds grow in my flowers
    why do i bleed on a timely schedule
    why do years bully my hours
    why is she only a friend in summertime weather
    why did God make light and emphasize dark
    why were we perfect when the sun shined bright
    why did the winter push us apart
    why do i feel like my times almost up
    why do i hate seafood
    why are decisions harder to make
    why is your face so rude
    why is Y a question and also a letter
    why can’t i eat peanuts
    why is his heart not broken
    why is mine so bruised up
    why is why so irritating
    why is my attention span so thin
    why is my happiness a mask
    why do i wake up to wear it again…




    Submitted on 2006-06-15 21:58:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "why do years bully my hours?"

    Thats a brilliantly worded question. Thanks for making my mind work.

    Life is full of confusion, but if it wasn't hard and confusing then that would mean we had arrived. None of have arrived, not until God calls us. Until then, if its not a struggle, something is wrong.
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      nice little poem you got there, and seems right, and flows right, so that was good, and it shows that you just wrote what you thought, and thats the thing to do, writing, but its really good, and "why" can hurt many people, "why" is complicated, "why" is the question we dont always want to answer, aint i right?, so anyway, its a nice poem, and the "why"s touched me, and everything you wrote is absolutly true, and i hope that ull have the strenght and courage to understand the real meaning of "why" so take care, have fun, and i hope that u enjoyed this comment as much as me when writing it,

    Wolfeye-
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by Wolfeye_666 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem, although I think it needs work. I liked the reality of it. The underlying message is that some guy screwed you over (maybe with your "summertime" friend?) and you keep thinking about it, but even so, random thoughts keep creeping in, and life DOES go on. When you have a broken heart, it kinda feels good to just stew and wallow in it, but soon other stuff catches your attention, and after awhile you have to actually WORK at focussing on your hurt. That's the overall impression I get when I read the poem.

    I think the "friend in summertime weather" is a bit cliché. I bet you could come up with a new way to express this idea. Also I think some of your lines seem a bit abrupt -
    Why is your face so rude
    and some are too literal--
    Why do I bleed on a timely schedule
    All in all, I enjoyed the poem, and I think it has great potential.
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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