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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crucify The Liedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 421
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 939
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3389



    Description:
       This was really just a flow of words -I suppose like beaT poetry--I could be wrong about that-every time I try to classify some of my writting--when ya really get down to it, it just doesn't have a classification...at least in our life time-so eat it!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrucify The Liedots
    -------------------------------------------



    Crucify The Lie
    ------------------


    He literally snatched me from the ground.
    Shaking as I looked around,
    Falling out my pockets were upside down crosses
    My failures and losses
    I could never get over
    All the things and thoughts I had impure
    were just that, only now too clear
    and fear was eminent
    and dominant
    Nobody ever solves the problems
    they are merely a side act
    to take our focus off what we lack
    and the badly beaten defenseless track
    which only leads us back
    to him
         and sin
    It is what keeps us going
    round and round
    down
    and d
           o
           w
           n
    Onto our bloody knees
    clenching a bible
    to which we are told to read
    This is the Gospel according to the Lord
    We can no longer afford
    to put our beliefs in something so unsure
    Not concrete
    No leg to stand on
    Pitiful and weak
    but still we seek
    the reassurance we were promised
    To be saved-a judgement day
    So we pray
    Every single day
    To someone we never seen..
    Who is supposedly perfect
    And born to a mother who
    Has never had sex
    I am not impressed
    and I donít have to dissect
    to exploit thisÖ
    Would you punch a wall
    without making a fist?
          NO!
    Iím sorry but the introduction
    I missed
    When did I meet Jesus?
    And why is there a list of things I do all the time
    but cant...
          SO-
    I am a sinner?
    for thou shall not deliberately desecrate
    each commandment
    1 by 1- piece by piece
    What has he done for me in the past 36 years?
    Does he wipe away my tears?
    It seems he is what I fear
    Not the other guy
    Fear Hell
    Hell No!
    Why?
    It seems more my speed
    I like the heat
    And Iím too unsane to defeat
    Though still without purpose or direction
    Ya know thatís where I am goin anyway
    and fast
    and I'll pass
    on Perfection
    cause it doesn't exist
    Answers we will never find
    And timeÖtime isnít of the essence
    And you will never be in his presence
    unless you are one of the easily influenced targeted feeble minds
    confusion is deliberate
    acceptance is the only way to get over it
    when your dead your dead
    and when your alive
    your really dead
    Thanks be to God,
    there is an anti-christ!
    See the light?
    Crucify the lie!


    St. Lamemansterms







    Submitted on 2006-06-16 12:15:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hola! Sinmore here! -Been awhile... But my 1st read upon return was you. You may not remember me but I have been on here about as long as you. -Just not lately, and I wanted to read someone who I knew from before. Well I must say I'm glad I did. This is a very good write, right up my alley. Although I don't generally condone openly expressed negative views on religions, I have to admit this is real; its truthful and elegant and honest. You have done a good job here. I guess all these a-holes that comment are to shy to tell you that there are a few misspelled words, but I'm not. I think you are an intelligent person and a worthy poet, and you need to know. People need to see see that in you and not be distracted by grammatical errors. But people are, and its unnecessary. So clean those up and this one gets an a+ from me. (If you don't remember me check out my page on here, you will remember me then. You posted a comment on my writing "...Tell me" a while back.) Well that's all I got for you for now, keep an eye out cause I will be posting again soon! -until next time... -sin
    | Posted on 2007-09-06 00:00:00 | by sinmore | [ Reply to This ]
      First.....let me stand up and applaud the rhythm and the flow to this one. Yes....this was beat poetry. And, you did it so amazingly well!

    As for the storyline....I am a believer.....so some of it was kind of controversal to me.....but....I have in time learned that if I am taking a risk at reading any body's work....it is yours. For your mind can create some very "unique" topics to create art with.

    I don't see anything in this one that needs correction. In beat poetry, it does help if you format it in a way that the words would hit the tone....and you did that here. I followed along with this one.

    The words.....you used them freely. Not all will agree with another's way of thinking....but they can understand it and accept it.

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      You unsane? That's unpossible!

    You know, I love how poems intended primarily for their sound and rhythm often times become something so much more in the mind of the reader.

    But first things first, as you said that this was mostly a flow of words, beat-ish if you will, I will look at that. It did feel like a volcanic flow forcing its way through a small crack in the ground, words and steam and molten lava all spewing out in multiple directions, yet it maintains a focus and direction somehow. While reading it, you are tempted to speed up at times as you establish the groove, until you hit a small u-turn and have to re-establish a new groove. Very cool. This is definitely a read-out-loud...repeatedly...and maybe in an escalating kind of voice piece.

    As far as gleaming meaning, well it seems that your words sent you in the direction of religion, it's meaning in our lives, it's validity in modern society, and how you relate to it. If I can guess right, you are not a big fan of organized "put money in my basket" religions that use fear to manipulate. Fear of the known, fear of the unknown and fear of simply not knowing. Maybe it's a cop out, maybe not, but it does not seem the path you are on (though I suppose being the anti-christ, you actually have a big role to play). But I guess we all, cynics and skeptics together, become the anti-christ (although I can't help feeling that Pat Robertson is actually the anti-christ).

    Many great lines in here:

    "Iím sorry but the introduction
    I missed
    When did I meet Jesus?"

    "I like the heat
    And Iím too unsane to defeat
    Though still without purpose or direction
    Ya know thatís where I am goin anyway"

    "Onto our bloody knees
    clenching a bible
    to which we are told to read"

    "And born to a mother who
    Has never had sex
    I am not impressed"

    Haha. That last one is classic. Anywho, this was a very fun, wickedly insightful and beautifully blasphemous piece of writing, and I'm glad I read it.

    Hope all is well,

    James
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an excellent write! i think often-times this is how people think. not necessarily the subject, but the mock-beat poetry. it looks so much better written up than one could ever imagine while just thinking it. i'm glad you wrote everything down as it came to mind.

    at the beginning of the poem it felt like the author was maybe a bit uncertain about religion, but then towards the end it seems he is more defiant and more certain that god does not exist. i wouldn't change it at all. it makes the reader ponder their own views.

    keep it up!
    xoxo
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by GorgeousCorpse | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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