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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Rain.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Qutedia7
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 54/70/31
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 153
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1032



    Description:
       this is a narrative i had to write for my language arts class. for people that are slow my characters in the poem are me and my rain, (my crush). anyways i hope you like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Rain.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My rain is the one thing that keeps me alive sometimes.
    The rain collides with my mind and my say.
    Even if it doesn’t understand me sometimes, it’s still my rain.
    My rain does a lot for me, as it will for you as you just get to know it.
    See, some people try to take my rain away from me by telling lies, but I know my rain doesn’t lie.
    The rain has many ways to shift me,
    It starts as being gentle to you outside and then the rest is history as it moves inside of you.

    Let the rain gentle you.
    Let the rain beat upon your head with God’s teardrops.
    Let the rain caress you, a beauty.
    The rain makes still pools on my sidewalk.
    The rain makes running pools in my gutter, empties it.
    The rain silently tapping on my roof at night, it is my rain and no one else’s,
    My rain brings a brighter day to me, I don’t know about you.
    The rain makes room for my sunshine in my darkness.
    And I love my rain unconditionally.




    Submitted on 2006-06-16 16:02:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very good. It had a jazzy feel to this. I like the way you refer to this crush as rain. I also like the easy flow of this. If I may, I would only suggest you give comparisons beteween this person and the rain, so that the reader can understand why you refer this person to the feel of rain. I would also fix the flow, it was good, but it needs a little more work. Overall, this was good. This person is truly refreshing to you, just explain to the reader why is all I ask.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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