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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bag Ladydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Magnolia Steele
    ASL Info:    30/female/Northwest CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 2492/1825/232
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1318
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       I love this song by Eyrka Badu called Bag Lady. I thought of this months ago, but amazingly I was able to recall it to mind now and post it. it may need a little more work, but I think it came out okay. And yes there is a deep message in the poem. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBag Ladydots
    -------------------------------------------


    She carries
    her life like
    an assortment of bags
    covered with
    wear and tears
    filled with rags.

    She is tired
    due to being
    weighed down
    with mismatched
    purses she struts
    through town.

    She collects
    more useless items
    along the way
    something esle
    to fret over in her
    wasted days.

    She is a
    bag lady toting
    her valueables
    here and there
    wondering
    if she will ever live life
    free of baggage
    and without care.





    Submitted on 2006-06-16 17:36:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      is there a specific thing that's holding her back or is in general when u say that she can't let go of certain things? this one was good. but kinda weird. but what can i expect from an erykah baddu song? i know i spelled her name wrong but i don't care. good job babe.
    | Posted on 2006-07-16 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good -- I enjoyed this one as well. :-D (I'm new here so I'm just trying to find some good writing to critique if I seem stalkerish.) My suggestions for this piece would be to separate separate sentences with at least a semicolon, as here:

    She is tired
    due to being
    weighed down
    with mismatched
    purses; she struts
    through town.

    -Syd
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Otter Kid | [ Reply to This ]
      Its a good thing you remembered this one and wrote it down, I am happy to have read it. It's a good write

    The flow was pretty good, it was constant - except for the last line, lol. At least, the way I read it, it would fit better when you leve out 'and'in the last line, and just write a comme or maybe a dah behind baggage.. what else.. o yeah I saw you wrote 'something esle' in stanza three, which I think should be 'something else'

    Other than that.. this piece was cool..
    like the bags being all the problems in her life, getting more and heavy as it seems.
    And maybe the 'mismatched purses' being mismatches in lovelife? I dont knwo.. thats just what I got out of it, was that the depe message? cause i am not always good at spotting them..

    J
    | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
      Some people just don't get to live life, constantly under the stress and pressure of some sort of work. I have not heard the song, but I can not say I didn't like this.
    The type of situation you have described here is one made by decision. I am sure everyone can take some time out from their shedule to make room for some kind of fun. I really enjoyed the message behind this,

    ABbas
    | Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I was thinking of being a bag lady myself one of these days. Of course, it's not as easy as it looks. and the baggage never seems to go away so I don't know if I can hit the streets with any amount of real freedom. I really like this poem Maggie. makes one stop and think about the people living on the street: why they chose it, if they chose it, and how they get along. I think your deeper message is letting go of the baggage that we all carry but I can't help thinking about all the old women out there, just getting by day to day. excellent write.
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sort of in a small way reminds me of Robert Frost " The Armful"

    Like the idea, nice little metaphor you got here Mags. A woman burden by many problems in life, continues to be burden through life by problems, whether simple or complex and is unable for whatever reason to let go of these problems. Thats what I have gathered at the most basic level.

    Keep up the good work Maggie

    Take care
    and be happy

    Your friend
    Jason
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      A nice little picture of a bag lady, Maggie. There is one called "Bag Lady" by Todd Rundgren on his "Hermit of Mink Hollow" album too. A beautiful song, and sad.

    Of course, that was about a real bag lady, and I see your hidden meaning in here, well done.

    I think either change the "struts" (as you just said how tired she is, so how would she be strutting?) unless you meant it as a clue as to her attitude, trying to shrug off all the cares she carries.

    Nice one, I liked it

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Maggie'
    I really enjoyed this one
    To me you were speaking of how people dont realize a woman who is homeless also has fears and is only trying to live her life
    I like how you said she collects things from the so called real world so she can never forget how truly lucky she is for escaping from that hell
    As I have said before Maggie
    In my Opinion these People are the real ones who truly know how to express Friendship and Love
    The so called real world can learn so much from them
    God Bless
    Your Friend Always
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      lol i liked tha song and this poem. Nice that u remebered it and posed it. I see it has a double meaning..and i won't get into all that now but anyways overall it was a good poem.


    DePoetry
    | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]


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