this was harder for me to read. not because of what you wrote about but because there wasn't any in line punctuations. when you leave those out, every line just seems to smash together but if thats what you aim for then feel free to ignore this lol.
overall the poem itself was a good write. the feelings taht drive it are as familiar to me as im sure they are to other readers. nice job.
wonderful write u got there, its awesome made me think of a bath of bodies, that r all sinnners tho, dunno if thats right... anyway it sounded right, and it flowed great, and i had an image running into my mind at all times, and thats what is needed in a poem, from my opinion, and thats the way i think ;p lol niothing else to say so take care!
It is a painful knowledge to accept that the world will keep turning even after you've departed it. Really, mediocrity, at its own right, presents some form of incarceration sometimes. And it takes great wisdom to accept the dwarf in a man.
Anyway, there is no way to deny the anguish in this piece. It is, in most angles, narrow. But that's also a good thing since that clarity emits a healing factor for the poet... and a simplicity that could allow you to touch more people.