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    dots Submission Name: have to let you godots

    Author: DontLetGo421
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 118/238/141
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1049
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 630

       this is about a friendship that was torn apart.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshave to let you godots

    watching our friendship
    flow miserably out of reach
    moving on and letting go
    is impossible to ever teach
    what happened to forever
    to we'll be together till the end
    you may have lost site of me
    but you'll always be mine to mend
    we told eachother everything
    and knew eachother so well
    if only i knew that your were a fraud
    a nasty lie you never would tell
    exchanging glances we drift away
    what used to be ; has been torn today
    what will happen next ; we'll never know
    but for now my friend ; i have to let you go

    Submitted on 2006-06-16 22:37:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Honestly nice piece, i would really like to hear this in a song form as well.


    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]
      This could use some editing but this was such a touching write. I don't whats come over me but I could really connect to this and for that reason alone I'm adding this to my fav list

    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by Dragon of Roses | [ Reply to This ]
      WHOA!!!.....that almost made me cry....this poem leaves me speechless...so now i'm going to go and think about stuff....very nice...
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by eyes of bleu | [ Reply to This ]
      In some places the rythm was not perfectly clear but other than that it is wonderful.
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by chained_under | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, aside from needing a lot of red ink for grammar and spelling (“site” should be “sight”, spaces between “each” and “other”, no capitalization, no periods, no commas, etcetera) it's a decent poem. The rhythm was off in a few places and some of the transitions from thought to thought were a bit blurry, but a few periods might help that (sorry, I’m one of those Grammar Nazis, no punctuation drives me up the wall). The ideas and emotions behind your poem are very good though; drifting apart from a friend is one of the hardest things to go through and trust me when I say that a universal theme like that makes it easier for people to relate to your poem which is definitely a huge plus. I love the lines “flow miserably out of reach” and “exchanging glances we drift away”; they are very strong with emotion and make a point very clearly. Maybe next time you could find someone who’s a Grammar Nazi to look over your poem to correct before hand; it’s not necessary but it makes the piece much less distracting. Good luck with your writing and have a great day.
    ~Obsidian Embers
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by Obsidian Embers | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this was really good poetry... i can feel the emotions so strong.... love the way its written.... its seems like your choosin over friendship and love and somehow u know u can never be just friends with that person and have let them go... thats what i think your trying to say... but let me know if i'm right... and once again i loved your poem... keep it up...

    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
      I think its a pretty good poem. The rythem did fall out of place at imes but it was goood.:)
    | Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by Mr. Creep | [ Reply to This ]

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