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Goalie


Author: Perpetualdreamz
Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 8 /18 /19
Words: 58
Class/Type: Misc /
Total Views: 707
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Bytes: 397



Description:


Made this up while playing a soccer game in gym class...I used to be able to play...but I couldn't...got yelled at by gym teacher becoz I left a guy open and he scored...
Then I stood on defence and watched everyone played and used this analogy of being a goalie to life.
Make your connections, what do you think?
What can I make better?


Goalie



Standing there while everyone is on the other side,
Still in the game but set aside,
No one sees, no one cares...
Until the ball is brought
Then the save is done,
everyone cheers,
To the other side they go again,
Success is best on the other side
________________________________

But I'm over here.
What if I miss?




Submitted on 2006-06-17 13:35:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Neat idea, well written. Yes the goalie has the worst job in football (sorry, soccer - I'm English!); if a striker makes a mistake he simply doesn't score, if a goalie makes a mistake the other team scores! But someone has to do it... hope you're enjoying the World Cup - watch out for England!
| Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Peacelizzy | [ Reply to This ]
  Ok, first I have to say that I also love ths soccer, but I also can't play. As for the poem, this is a very original write, and never have I read anyone comparing life to soccer, and I love how you wrote how everone was playing on one side, and completely forgetting you, but you have to realize that life has a way of shoving you in unexpectedly, also like a soccer game, to go show your stuff, and try to make a goal, and if you can't then all you have to do is watch from the sidelines, and learn the lessons that the coach, or life triees to teach you. As for the poem, this was really sad, but I guess it could also have a happy view because now you get to watch what they are going to do so that you can learn what to do. My favorites were the two last lines, and it was so sad, and pleading, but I guess if you miss, you sit on the bench, and wait patiently for the coach to put you back in. Very impressively orginal write.
Peace,love,euphoria,
Aya
| Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
  As a fellow lover of soccer -- and also not being a particularly talented player -- I very much like this poem. Obviously, you have a few spelling mistakes -- a quick read-over on your part will root those out -- but other than that, it's got a lot of potential. Try to make it more about the game; for example, try rewording the somewhat clichéd term "no one sees, no one cares," etc. Also, it's not quite clear about what happens when "the save is done" -- perhaps write more about your part in that, or lack of part.
-Syd
| Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Otter Kid | [ Reply to This ]


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