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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WARdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ligeia83
    ASL Info:    23/f/the literary world
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 17/14/13
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 224
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1718



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWARdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's cold-outside-
    The house-
    Unrestful- thoughts
    No one-can hear
    A whisper- a sound
    at all
    Unrestuful thoughts.

    No one can understand
    A thing- a thought
    Only you-you alone
    Do not say it-
    I won't exist.
    A thing-a thought
    Unrestful-unsought.

    No word-from you
    I hear-no sound
    Fall, fall, fall-into-the ground.
    Aloud I scream
    Can you hear?You do not...cannot
    Away-too far
    Too far away-you are.

    Unnecessary-unclear
    Your words- I hear
    Unrestful-my thoughts
    Wrapped in painful green cloths.
    Unwrap-Discover
    It's painful-it's over!
    Unrest-unrest-unclear-unexpressed.

    To think- I loved you
    and loved you not
    A Lie-a lie
    Unnecessary-a cut
    Into my thoughts-unbelievable
    A lie-alie
    To your unstained love.

    Mine is not-not worthy
    The Pain-It kills it.
    Bombs all around
    And corpses-and corpses.
    Can you see it?
    You see it-you don't.
    Perceive it? You won't.

    A sound- a sound
    A whisper-the ground
    Explodes behind me
    Unrestful, you see?
    Unrestful-unbelieved
    I'm a liar, don't you see?

    And Bombs- and bombs
    And corpses everywhere.
    The horror! My Horror!
    Exploding, exploding
    Surrendering-undoing
    And screaming-undoing
    And screaming-and screaming
    And airplanes flying.

    No bond between us- but fear...








    Submitted on 2006-06-18 15:06:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow this is a nice piece of work and all I can say it made me feel.. warm then scared..

    "No one can understand
    A thing- a thought
    Only you-you alone
    Do not say it-
    I won't exist.
    A thing-a thought
    Unrestful-unsought."
    This part is what moved me the most and it is quite strong..
    Everything else seems good but is the poem meant to have the slashes? Anyway, overall I give it a 5 for the strong feelings it gave.

    It doesn't seem original, to me that is because I haven't read that much poems and stories and such but all I can say.. this is not original and is very beautiful yet strong.
    | Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by Triflingblood | [ Reply to This ]



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