Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Rain

Author: PiperH
ASL Info:    17, F, Georgia
Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 253 /299 /172
Words: 98
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1974
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 577


Surprisingly my most liked peice of poetry. I think this was actually the first one I submitted to this site. Wow...
I love this one and I hope you like it to. But things have changed a lot since I wrote this. For example, I hate the rain. Lol. Yeah, i hate getting my hair wet and having to walk all the way across the freaking parking lot at school to get to my car!! srry...I'm still upset about that day....
but anyways, tell me what ya think of it. :)

The Rain

It feels so relaxing
As it falls down my face
For a moment everything is forgotten
I don't feel so out of place

It washes away my worries
It washes away my lies
I take in a deep breath
As it too, washes the tears from my eyes

I never want it to end
This great feeling deep inside
there is no longer any pain
not a feeling I have to hide

But as it fades away
emptiness returns to me again
If only it would come back
I never like it when it ends

Submitted on 2006-06-18 23:09:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I really love this. I love the rain, more than anything else in the world. It always makes me feel so peaceful; I can never be angry when it's raining outside and I can go dance in it. I like the simple feel of this poem, there's an honest feel to it that I really like. Nice job.

| Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked this poem, and I never thought of it that way, and I agree with you, life is overall empty feelings with fleeting moments of happiness. Well I can't speak for everyone I guess but for me that rings true. At the beginning of the poem I thought that you were decribing tears until the feeling took away your tears, I like the change of direction. This is a great description of your feelings, not everyone has that talent.
Will (Twice)
| Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by Twice | [ Reply to This ]
  The rain! the rain!
It recently cleared up all the nasty airbourne dust particles that have invaded the area around where I live.
Save your tears for a rainy day - Anon.
Very soothing rhythm, I have nothing much to say cos those people down below pretty much said it all.
I love the rain, and I hope you do too.
| Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
  That was pretty good. I saw the amount of comments and felt I had to at least take a look at the poem. I'm glad I did...
| Posted on 2006-10-24 00:00:00 | by Cayman | [ Reply to This ]
  I love that you actually stood in the rain and wrote this... it has a simple, yet beautiful rythym... I feel a little differently about rain so I don't really relate... but I can feel the release that you have in the rain by the way this peice is written. Nice!
| Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ah, another good rain write. I love rain, more than most people. Here, where I live, it doesn't rain too often; and the pro-monsoon depression has started. Rain brings so much tranquility in our minds that it is surprising. Some would think it's the same as standing under a shower, but the real feeling of running in the rain is amazing. I enjoyed every bit of this almost as much as I love rain, and 'almost' should be taken as the best realistic comment.

| Posted on 2006-09-18 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow.. well several comments shows its a good pice right there. I cannot agree with such a thing as the rain being so powerfull. I mean I love it everytime it rains every single time.. and really because its an amazing feelings .. just go out and play in the rain jump arunds its sooo nice so uplifting.. but at times its depressing.. nevertheless this peom is GREAT!

| Posted on 2006-09-16 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
  hey there...
i really like this....u know what? it just started raining as i opened ur page! what an effect! innit?
well, i see how the rain doesthings for you...
i see the effect it has...i agree with makes u forget all the misery....i guess its the beauty of nature...
| Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]
  okay, wow. i think you've described many other people's feelings about the rain. not the sad kind of rain, but the cleansing type.
what i like most about it is the smell during and right after. it's so clean and new, the 'nothing is wrong' smell. too bad it fades away too quickly.
anyhow, lovely poem and kudos for actually being able to write that in the rain :P

| Posted on 2006-08-13 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
  Your poem is very good. It makes me want to know about the struggles that you are going through. Is everything okay? I've felt how you speak in the poem many atimes, remember that you are very alone. Keep up the awesome job.
| Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by Mykquillion | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow that was a really beautiful poem of nature. You may think it was silly ( and it just might have been silly:)) but it is always good to feel what you are writeing first hand and personal. I wrote BLACK AND YELLOW BUTTERFLY while actually observing one and even through I wasn't excactly soaked to the bone I was able to think more about the subject. I love the poem and hope to hear from you soon.

much LOVE
| Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this piece as well, I loved that it was peaceful and soothing at the start, then it changed and all of sudden I felt the lingering sadness, the longing that you must of felt. Good job again with such a short writing, making the reader feel your emotions.

PS You are so right, there is something so "cleansing" about the rain. When I was a child it was just fun, but now it an all together different feeling to stand and run in the rain.

Take care,
| Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by Fey | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh i love rain poems this one is very pretty I like how u use the rain talking about your worries washing away. I love rain it's so peaceful and beautiful. It has a amazingly calming effect on the soul. It represents pureness and natural beauty. This was an amazing write. For only being a member for three days you have made a name for yourself. Keep it up. Check out my poem pitter patter. It's about rain also.
| Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by smartblond | [ Reply to This ]
  This is beautiful. It shows the emotion you feel, and as already said, capures the essence. Lovely, and amazing. A great poem!

| Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Vanna Arden | [ Reply to This ]
  I love everyone has a theme about rain. lol
But I really like this poem. Mostly, because..unlike my poem, you describe the rain and it's feeling...the touch and soothing power it has. And especially how it relates to you.

Good job
| Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
  I really enjoyed the write but I do not enjoy the repetitive , I I I I I I, I think you should try to write more useing these words as little as possible, rather then refering to yourself write about others, you may find a whole new level of poetry from yourself.
| Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed the 'soft' rhyme, it wasn't overdone at all. I also like the way you describe what the rain 'does' and how it heals you. As if it were a drug that makes you feel the way you want to feel, but when it's gone, those feelings you wish to rid yourself of come back once again.

Sometimes we just have to let go of the pain.

In my prayers,

| Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by SorrelsReality | [ Reply to This ]
  A beautiful poem. I enjoy the rain as well and I'm sure everyone agrees that it can bring about a 'spiritual healing' of sorts. I really like the subject matter and the wording you chose.
| Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]
  it looked like a very innocent feeling, not being makeuped, i can tell this piece was straight from heart. it is very difficult to maintane the innocense of nature, but you have done it remarkably.
While reading it felt like its raining and you are wispering these words, while i am standing with my eyes closed and feeling the esence of rain.

For a moment everything is forgotten....

I no longer have any pain
I no longer feel I have to hide

these line had a spell over me.
| Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by imagination | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice! Definately captured the essence of the rain and all its cleansing capabilities in your write. This was a delight to read, just long enough to create a good feeling and visual.

Thanks for sharing.

| Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
You described the rains beauty perfectly in this write
I too believe the rain is a happy beautiful thing and I believe it is quite sad how the Rain is always thrown in with depression
That is so not true

I would also Like to Welcome you to Elite Skills I hope this site brings you all the Happiness it has brought to me
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
| Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice write however, the last line is a little weird. You should have kept the rhyme pattern. I just messes up the entire thing. I think it's creative though, how you associate Rain with a cleansing sort of thing on life. I like it. I think I'll use that in one of my writes. Great Job and keep it up

- Kyle
| Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
  very dramatic in its simple sence. giving us perception of what you see as you write..this one is more leaned towards your perceptions of the outside rather then what is from within you, like the other two poems of yours i read..i have to say good job with this peice, i will read more
| Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by fallenone | [ Reply to This ]
  Beautiful poem. I enjoyed this read very much. I have felt this before. Spent several days in the rain myself but that is a story for another time.
I think it might read better if you dropped the too from the line that says " as it washes the tears from my eyes".
Just seems to read better to me. I understand why you put it in there. It creates a nice little pause for effect, almost setting up the big hit and emotional content of the tears falling from your eyes. It works well but I don't think you need it. THe poem seems to be powerful enough to stand without it.
Just a thought.
| Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by Man in Black | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?