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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Can'tdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ebflannery
    ASL Info:    24/
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 184/184/48
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 300
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCan'tdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Can't help but find it depressing
    How fast they grow
    Wish time would slow
    Can't stop my heart aching
    For soon childhood will have gone
    They will be ready to move on
    Can't stop my smile from spreading
    When I see their joy
    My girl and boy
    Can't stop myself from loving
    Their every success
    I'd wish them nothing less




    Submitted on 2006-06-19 00:27:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I find this poem very sweet. It show a mother's view of not wanting to let go of her children. I think you wrote this very well.

    "Can't help but find it depressing
    how fast they grow
    wish time would slow"

    That part I understood the most. It sort of reminds me of the little toddlers I see in the nusery, where I work. They used to be little babies, but now they are four our five years old. They gow up so fast!
    | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that this poem is quite cute yet sad. I like how this is about someone in a parents view. I haven't seen this style yet, but I haven't been around long to read a lot of poems. Now see, I can't really critique this poem since I don't see nothing wrong about it.

    "Can't stop myself from loving
    Their every sucess
    I'd wish them nothing less."

    I love that part of the poem as it shows that you love your child for who they will be or are. Love is something that we must all cherish and I think you incorparate it in this poem nevertheless.

    Okay another thing that I saw with the poem was the rhyming. My first 3 times though I thought, wow, good structure and flow. Something I tried to do with this poem is switch places with the rhyming lines. I didn't work out so well. So I overall; this waters my eyes when reading it. Love it.
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Finnigan | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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