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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sunrises and Bedsheetsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/91
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 895
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 801



    Description:
       i wanted to make the reader feel as if one were there. and feeling the inner peace just by watching someone go thru REM. and then as their eyes open and their dream ends so does your's...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSunrises and Bedsheetsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Waking up next to you
    Your vivacious red hair covering the whitest pillow
    The sunlight pouring into the room.
    This room where ever colour was white except for your colours capturing my attension.
    Your lashes fluttering to your dreams.
    Peaceful
    Silent
    Still
    Every strand of light
    eluminated
    Every flaw
    Reminding me of humanity
    The beautiful flaws of humanity.
    The uniquiness to your eyes as they open to the white room.
    The curtains flutter as the new day's breeze greets us.
    Nothing ever felt so
    Peaceful
    Silent
    Still
    Your parting lips break the silence
    Speak my only colour
    As the words spill
    I hear you say,
    "I have to go".




    Submitted on 2006-06-19 00:46:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The poem was beutiful, really, really beautiful. But this line: "This room where ever colour was white except for your colours capturing my attension." was just a bit long and kind of breaks up the flow of the rest of it. Not that it matters any, the poem is stil beautiful, just thought I'd let you know.
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by little_theif | [ Reply to This ]
      I particularly liked the adjectives you used in this poem, and they way you repeated "Peaceful, Silent,Still"...and I also like the ending, I think it's stricking...
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Ligeia83 | [ Reply to This ]
      :( *crys* why so blue my darling booger queen?
    I miss you and I know I keep posting on all your poems with "i miss you"s but I can't help it. I'm sorry...I love this poem, but I wonder who it's about, I have a good idea, but I'm not sure...
    love you,
    Rose Macabre
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Queen_of_spades | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow that was great, it was very strong, and gave me a really good feeling, and the end oh that gave a nice twist, it was good though..very good.
    -Anya
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by FarawayFeelings | [ Reply to This ]
      hey..i know what you thought when you read the one where i said all the bad things about you and what you did and used the whore word and stuff but it wasnt like that. i wasnt trying to blame you, i was blaming me for blaming you...sweet poem. different.
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]


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