Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lot's Wifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Keats
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 14/11/9
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 505



    Description:
       I admit this one may be a bit toooo cryptic, so here is a bit of help. First, only 3 words are capitalized, Mercury, Sulfur and Salt, which
    should immediatley point to alchemy. The conventional metaphors for these three symbols
    are mercury = mind, sulfur = passions, salt = physical body. Astrologically, Mercury is definitely associated with mind and communication,
    but my use here attributes it to the constantly changing physical world, using salt as mind/thought because thoughts last infinitely
    longer than anything physical (which is in constant flux) despite the fact that those two attributes seem opposite to most people. Maybe just a personal work, although my goal was to
    bring these ideas back into circulation even
    if only in small amounts.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLot's Wifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    too tender Mercury craves lead crystal

    ice crystal

    when filthy Sulfur brands

    that which is too tender too deeply

    never add Salt

    salt

    once again

    salt crystal

    to ignite burns, as some are wont to do

    salt instead

    our bread, sulfur's clean spark

    blazing mercury will cease and smile

    when reaching gold fire and cool jasper




    Submitted on 2006-06-19 13:01:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ...Whoa...you are totally my new favorite on my list! "Lot's Wife"..I assume you are talking in biblical terms? I come from a Muslim background, so this automatically triggered Lot's tale, and it's quite similar to biblical beliefs.
    I think what amazed me was how you managed to take something metaphorical and incorporate that in scientific terms...that not only was beautiful but I find it brilliant. I'm so shocked because I find that difficult to blend two totally different subjects into one whole when writing poetry.

    Brilliant work...absolutely Please keep writing more. I'm so impressed and even proud.
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by darkrose16 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    107661

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry