Inner Desire
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Description:
Okay, this is really emo and I'm embarrassed to say that I wrote this. But I can't delete it. I hate deleting things...
So be nice, please. :) and also, any suggestions to make it better, I would appreciate. I'm just too lazy write now and go back and fix it up.
So be nice, please. :) and also, any suggestions to make it better, I would appreciate. I'm just too lazy write now and go back and fix it up.
Inner Desire
She looks so sad tears pour from her eyes no one can see her no one can hear her cries I want so much to help her I'm tired of waiting around It's impossible for her to be happy when she is always down I am the only one who can see her everyone else sees a lie no one knows the real her no one knows her like I But that can be a problem because I can never help she needs someone else because she isn't helping herself She is one big remote control and she's always got me on pause she just doesn't understand that everyone has flaws She fools everyone everyday I wish she would let me go I wish that she would tell the truth and let everybody know But for now, I remain stuck because she is a liar I know she has so much more she wants to do because I am her inner desire |
Submitted on 2006-06-19 22:36:15 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| Oh my fricken gosh this is awesome, wow you are right it really is like my poem that you commented on and oh yea thanks by the way. Hehe I'm a very lazy at commenting and replying to comments, sorry it's just I've been so busy lately and all. Well I'm really glad I checked out your poem and I hope you keep writing. This is a deep poem that I can really relate to and trust me I am not just saying this for no reasons. If you write anymore awesome poems, give me a heads up. Thanks again. Ash | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by Ashuri | [ Reply to This ] | Yeaaa those LIFETIME movies are very depressing at times.......... not that I watch them or anything >:I .............. actually I do watch them every once in a while.......... OK maybe often lol but actually I've been inspired to write a poem from a lifetime movie once and this was a very good poem and If I post up a poem about it I'll tell you. | much LOVE ( and keep watching them LIFETIME movies >:P) James | Posted on 2006-08-04 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ] | Yes, Lifetime movies are very sad but they are also a very useful teaching tool. They teach us about the world and about our innerselves. Ive watched a few in my lifetime and they have all moved me very much. | ~LocketzVc | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by LocketzVC | [ Reply to This ] | Very nice and deep.. Your rhyming is better than anything I can do as I write in free verse, but there are a few places where the rhyming seems like you couldn't think of a word that worked and just chose the first one you could think of.. | There are also a few places where the lines are either too long or too short, which disrupted the flow and made me stumble over the words.. | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ] | |
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