Bouncing flames on inner walls
who will catch her when she falls?
alone in the dark
screams come from in the closet
you would never know
the secrets that are hidden
tears fall onto the carpet
from a sad face
that had never truly smiled
sitting alone all the time
some notice, but don't seem to care
who is going to catch her when she falls?
with no one there
the tears keep coming and coming
nothing can stop them now....
One...I like this poem. It's simple and it's easy to understand. The only thing is, it seems a little cut off. Like unfinished... Otherwise it's pretty good.
Also, thanks for the comment on my poem, "Losing You"....I am happy you liked it. That poem has been revised twice already, so it feels good to know that my efforts weren't a waste of time. Likewise on the whole reading poetry. Yours is always goood. lol.
Dear Nicole; I like this poem, shockingly enough, but it made me think, are all of your poems stories about you/your life? Not that this is a bad thing, I was just wondering. I like your word choice and your imagery, you write as if you were much older than you are. Keep up the amazing work. Smile. ~~Mykquillion
I like this poem a lot Nicole, as I do a lot of your work. Nice job. Just a thought, maybe adding a few periods and/or commas would make the poem flow better. Possibly after "hidden" and a comma after "smiled." Just an idea, maybe it's better how it is. Keep writing in the amazing way you do. ~~Mykquillion