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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forgiven But Not Forgottendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 605
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718



    Description:
       Alot of restless nights were spent during the first part of my marriage because of harsh words shared but not talked through. I haven't had to go through that in a long time until last night. A silly fight about something that was done a long long time ago. The past wasn't forgotten like I had hoped. This came to me around one in the morning. My wonderful way of venting. Hope its at least a little enjoyable


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    dotsForgiven But Not Forgottendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lips unmoving, no sound is made,
    Trapped in a silence that burns.
    Tears hit my pillow, but you don't care,
    For your love, my heart yearns.

    Sleep was forgotten on this night,
    Minutes tick on without fail.
    With each chance lost to drift into dreams,
    There was another secret to tell.

    Lies were told and showed themselves,
    While the sun crept back into play.
    You forgave, but can not forget.
    Leaving all the pain in our way.

    Perhaps, in a while, we can find peace,
    We should just throw it all away.
    Will the memories of tonight haunt forever?
    Can you forget it, and love me the same way?




    Submitted on 2006-06-21 13:35:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very meaningful and very well written. The rhyme scheme is perfect for the piece. Share it with him and I wish you well.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very well written poem. It portrayed good emotion, and I found no fault in it. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, I must say I know how it feels to have bumps on the road of marriage. My road ended because of soemthing like this. I wish you the best of luck to get through this. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading.

    Always,
    Shattered
    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by heartofxwinterx | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really cool. i especially liked this stanza:

    Lies were told and showed themselves,
    While the sun crept back into play.
    You forgave, but can not forget.
    Leaving all the pain in our way.

    i like the personification of the sun creeping. that's the first thing that caught my eye about this stanza. and the part about forgiving but not forgetting is something that i think everyone does. no matter how much u care for someone u can't forget what they've done to or for u whether good or bad. well...sometimes people do forget all the good things u do for them cuz they tend to take u for granted
    | Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      This was strong. I really liked the rhymes you chose, which didn't seem forced at all. A powerful and original write, this was enjoyable to read. I can not seem to find anything wrong with it. It is hard to create imagery with topics like these, but you managed to suceed to a certain extent. My favourite stanza was the third one. Well-put

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]


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