[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A new type of lovedots

    Author: totojane03
    ASL Info:    25- colorado springs
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 151/77/35
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 809
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 957

       a man that I have been with for awhile, and the way he expressed his joy when he found out were having a baby and how much we love each other.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA new type of lovedots

    My heart keeps singing,
    To every beat of yours its ringing,
    With just one touch of your hand,
    It's like you understand,
    How I feel inside,
    And when I am to cry,
    your there wiping the tears from my eyes,
    Telling me everything will be alright,
    And not to fright even when the baby arives,
    For I will be there for you day and night,
    I will take care of you both,
    It's a resposiblity I tresure most dear,
    And just remember I will always be here,
    It's my first time to be a dad,
    And the thought of it makes me so glad,
    It's a gift we were both given,
    And our smiles from this joy could not be hiden,
    Just the thought of this,
    Just the thought of you,
    Brings me to know I couldn't handle the thought of losing you,
    For this has opened my eyes to show me,
    How much I really love you.

    Submitted on 2006-06-21 15:33:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Congrats to your first child. Nothing is more heartfelt and joyous than having a baby. I wish you two the best and keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2009-08-27 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi.. thank you so much for your comments on my poems.... I loved the simple raw honesty in this poem.
    | Posted on 2009-08-21 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing is so magic as the first child! Nice poem and a wonderful story!
    | Posted on 2009-06-01 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      more like a poetical letter what ever that is,,,
    great,, made me think of being too dependent a bit, only my opinion.
    only cause im i lonesome wanderer
    cheers gud luk
    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by deadbeat sun | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very well written. It was sweet to, I almost cried tears of joy because the emotion was so strong here. It was like I was living it myself. Great work. Unfortunetly, I've never experienced great joy such as that. Congrats to all you good luck, I hope it keeps running for you. Keep up the great work, and I'll keep reading.

    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by heartofxwinterx | [ Reply to This ]
      I rellay did enjoy it from top to bottom, it kept me glued to the screen, it really flowed well, all the rymes fell in place perfect, a really solid job on this one.
    keep up the good work, and congrats on the expectant arrival.

    J MO
    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by J MO | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, congratulations on the baby. That's wonderful. I'm not too sure about "And not to fright even when the baby arives." My dictionary says that using fright as a verb is considered archaic, and I think "not be frightened" sounds a little less consciously poetic. You also have a wee typo in "hidden."
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]