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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Best of the Bestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1291
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 760



    Description:
       We all have our prejudices don't we? I was thinking about a post someone put up on this board called Just For You. I forgot who wrote it, though.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBest of the Bestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dunno about you,
    but I like to think
    the world should be full
    of people like me.

    The good ones are women,
    and blondes pass the test.
    Christians are preferable,
    And Catholics the best.

    People who live on
    (my) north side of town
    have much to be envied
    by those on the south.

    I buy American;
    I'm sure you do, too.
    Only the best
    for our families will do.

    People who share
    my political scene
    are obviously blessed
    with superior genes.

    I don't know why
    it's so hard to see
    that the best ones of all
    are the ones just like me.





    Submitted on 2006-06-22 01:18:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am simply caught adrift by the sneering, yet thoughtful tone in this poem. It isn't bashing, but it isn't nice either. And the subtle assertions of who [you] is the best, are quite enjoyable to read! I feel as if I am talking to someone who is confident in their shoes, and enjoys a friendly political banter. This was like a breath of fresh air after all the angst I have been reading. No offense to angst or teen feelings, persay, but it is a bit repetitive. So thanks for this!

    Thanks also for the review of 'To See is To Know', which ironically was origionally a somewhat ranting thought, but after Medetation In Dance was bashed for being a paragraph, I looked at this one and said, 'It could use some line structure, too'. And so there we are!

    Blessings,

    ~Aetha
    | Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by Aetha Daemon | [ Reply to This ]
      Hah... this made me chuckle. Sarcasm is enjoyable. I usually don't think much of rhyming poems, but I still enjoyed this one a good deal. Just one stanza...

    I buy American;
    I'm sure you do, too.
    Only the best
    for my family will do.

    that rhyme seems really, really forced. Maybe not even forced, it just sounds... I don't know... too easy? lol Meh, I'm not allowed to critique rhyming poems... I don't really write any, so my opinion is invalid~ So yeah. Good write though!
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol, I like the sarcastic tone in this... sure, we all have our prejudices but I think most people keep them in check... by keeping silent. But still, that's hypocritical isn't it?

    As for an overall assessment? Little nitpicks maybe... like the parentheses around "(me)'-- perhaps you were wanting to italicize it instead? That's what I figured. And... instead of ending on periods in some of your stanzas, how about using semi-colons instead so that it's more uniform? Just some things I thought I'd throw out at you. Oh, I'm not sure about the semi-colon and comma in these two lines:
    "I buy American;
    I'm sure you do, too."
    -- How about --
    "I buy American(:)
    I'm sure you do() too(;)
    -- I think a colon would work better here as an intro to the second line statement, and then a semi-colon to differentiate the next two lines from these two. Again, just suggestions for you to have a squiz at.

    Overall, I love the biting tone in this. It accomplishes so much more than a preachy tone ever would.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-06-22 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      "I dunno about you,
    but I like to think
    the world should be full
    of people like me.

    The good ones are women,
    and blondes pass the test.
    Christians are preferable,
    And Catholics the best.

    People who live on
    (my) north side of town
    have much to be envied
    by those on the south.

    I buy American;
    I'm sure you do, too.
    Only the best
    for my family will do.

    People who share
    my political scene
    are obviously blessed
    with superior genes.

    I don't know why
    it's so hard to see
    that the best ones of all
    are the ones just like me."


    I'm underwhelmed by your humility and will readily admit you're a legend in your own mind. Ah, me...

    Satire can be so much fun! Especially when the tone mocks the ignorant with language so pungent they wouldn't recognize the hypocrisy!

    Cut! Slice! Hurt! What?

    Very well done, with alovely hint of backhanded joy.
    Take care.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-06-22 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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    107940

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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