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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: THINGS YOU SAYdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Psyve
    ASL Info:    53/M/ Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 75/102/60
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Venting
    Total Views: 806
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 595



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTHINGS YOU SAYdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Oh, you bore me to the seams
    With your sorrows and your dreams,
    And the tales of things you gave up just for me-
    You tell me when I came,
    That I was bound in mental chains,
    But you never really tried to set me free!
    (And I'm going…)

    You say it hurts so much
    For you to speak about your past,
    And then you tell me of the many things you've lost-
    You tell me when I came
    That I was blind and I was lame,
    But you gave me sight and freedom at what cost!
    (And I'm gone…)




    Submitted on 2006-06-22 11:23:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Like most of my lyrics on this board, this one was originally written as a song and, should you care to, you can hear me perform it by clicking on the link below

    http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7023124

    If you do have the patience, I would be very interested to know what you think of it.

    Psyve
    | Posted on 2010-04-16 00:00:00 | by Psyve | [ Reply to This ]
      The title in caps was weird, it almost got me dizzy, but its also what got me to reading this. I think I liked th first stanza better than the second, I'm not sure why..Sometimes being free isn't so nice, everything comes with a punishment and a cost. I liked the comparison between the last lines of each stanza, you were trapped, and bored..then you were free but payed the price..A heafty one i'm guessing..Anyways, great piece!

    Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
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    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    107983

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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