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    dots Submission Name: Sweat and Virgin Tearsdots

    Author: Aken Sol
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 197/204/67
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 698

       Haiku, nonet, reverse nonet, then another haiku.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweat and Virgin Tearsdots

    A battle rages
    In the confines of my mind.
    Stars are lit ablaze.

    My thoughts shatter to oblivion,
    although a million more remain.
    Pieces fly across my brain,
    making me feel insane.
    Please donít look at me;
    I wonít let those
    lips touch

    Let it stop.
    With all my heart
    I want it to end.
    Destroy my emotions
    and my thoughts along with it.
    The last thing I need is to feel:
    any guilt for what youíve done to me.

    As the stars fade off,
    the cycle of hardening
    and breaking is done.

    Submitted on 2006-06-22 13:17:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was very entertaining and I liked the formats you used. Although I wouldnt call them true haikus (bless-u), as I was informed that this style is either a senryu (sp?) or a hybrid haiku (bless-u). (ladyngold could better explain it)

    I liked how they tied the beginning and end together though. Good job.
    | Posted on 2006-06-22 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont know anything about Haikus, but I do know that I liked the shape of the poem very much. It was well written, you use good words, describing words, good pictures, nice that you tie the beginning with the end like you do,
    and although it was rather harsh it made it edgy, and I liked it a lot... :D

    Good job... Great poem!
    | Posted on 2006-06-22 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]

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