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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: L.I.F.E.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: b_v_grant
    ASL Info:    18/m/Jamaica
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 120/115/66
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 139
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 476



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsL.I.F.E.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life is a dream
    i dont want to live

    It is a game
    i dont want to win

    Life is a chance
    i'm not willing to take

    It is like plastic
    you bend and break

    Life is a challenge
    i surrender to

    It is cruel
    because of you

    And life is love
    but i wonder how that feels

    Life is a question
    Can you make me feel loved please?




    Submitted on 2006-06-22 16:30:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree about the plastic part, there is definitely something missing there, excellent poem otherwise, the message is clear.
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Survivor_Dean | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, I think it a good work.
    | Posted on 2006-06-22 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      It is like plastic
    you bend and break

    the second line in this seems to be missing something, other then that, the last word please dosn't seem to flow.

    Other than these 2 little things the poem is very good I like it alot, remember that the Thesaurus is your best friend, just work on your flow alittle and your in there! Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-06-22 00:00:00 | by Dark Muse | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Dark Muse maybe it should be

    It is like plastic
    it bends and it breaks

    That might screw with things though I don't know. Well, nice piece anyway.
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by bmc | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this and i hate it because it seems as though you have given up and you shoudnt let someone take away your confidence and faith, especially your ex. Its not worth it, great write though, hope you turn your artistic abilities into confidence and self-love.

    votre ami,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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