Blackberry Winter

Author: mrmundane ASL Info:    20/m/vancouver bc Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 47 /96 /78 Words: 112

Class/Type: Poetry /Love Total Views: 894 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 1085

Description:

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Blackberry Winter

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There is Something Below There Is something Below There Is Something Below The snow It drifts It sways And shifts It's prickles Of Spring On my Fingertips But there Lies Something Below There is Something Below It When the Fog becomes Lithe I will Whisper To The Snow About How much My gut Boils for You But I Realise this Can never Work I am So Jealous Damn Thissssss I feel Destroyed by It and You. There Is Something Below All of This I Know There is Something Below

Submitted on 2006-06-23 07:56:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

This was ok...I mean I liked it, but something about it is bothering me. Don't worry, it's not the format, I liked that part, but at certain parts I found myself skipping ahead and not reading some parts, then going back and rereading what I already read and trying to get myself to read what I didn't. It's strange....it could be because I didn't gather all of the feelings from this piece that your description describes...I dunno..... I liked the title, but maybe for another poem, I think you should call it "Something Below"....it fits more with your poem and it adds a bit more mystery. Try to work with this or wait for other people's opinions because I don't know what made me not so interested in this piece, usually a poem like this would attract me not distract me. *tox*

| Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

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