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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vanquished Auricledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ROSHAY9992000
    ASL Info:    22/m/fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 16/12/12
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 776



    Description:
       basically my emotions after she left


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVanquished Auricledots
    -------------------------------------------


    How could you be so sinister
    In your master plan of domination
    Of my boundless devotion to you
    Constant lies from within your lips
    Led me to an illusionary state of euphoria
    You cold-hearted bitch
    You fooled me, oh so well
    Poisoning my essence
    With that shrewed false hope
    The life I envisioned now defunct
    From that merciless ventricle of yours
    You have impaled my heart
    With your deceit and lies
    Insufferable pain from within
    Constant malnourished heart does ache
    Heart-broken I now lay dying
    Below the weeping willows I fade
    Decayed smell of my lifeless frame
    As my existence fades into ashes
    and blows away with the wind




    Submitted on 2006-06-23 09:55:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I believe it's good to write when you're emotional, but sometimes you're just too emotional to really write well, i think maybe that was the case here... there's a few cliché's in there which kind of take away from the emotional impact, but other than that it could be a really good piece... just needs some touching up still i think...

    I liked the lines

    Led me to an illusionary state of euphoria
    and
    From that merciless venricle of yours
    and
    Decayed smell of my lifeless frame

    those were really rad.

    cya. :)
    | Posted on 2006-06-23 00:00:00 | by mrmundane | [ Reply to This ]


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