I think this is a good message to the youth of today as well as the youth to come. This has a street draw to it that gives the reader an empathy for the writer. I could almost picture a man sitting on a stoop, pointing his finger as he says these very words. Not to the youth directly but just letting them flow from his mouth. This has the wisdom of being there and having witnessed some of the tools you so often mention here in the write.
I am not one for grammar and so I will not even try find anything wrong with it in that aspect.
Language used in this is of the old street when the english was cut off at certain points as to make it seem pigeon (meaning broken English). This gives the effect of wisdom and I have been there voice to this write.
This was very well written and a deeply meaningful read. Quite powerful words, but you spoke the truth, which seems to be a forgotten art these days. I was able to remember all the youngs ones I grew up with who never listen to these words and paid a high price for it and I see today how that still young ones grow deaf with age. I think that you have a way of telling someone of harm without seeming preachy. I think you did a great job with speaking out. LiLi was right, you are good.
Well well well....this has now taken the place of my favorite's of all of the "D" writes.....
This one had a lot of impact. I think that it is appreciated more when you know the proper place to envision...and associate the words, the meaning, and even the ghetto kind of way that you write the post. All of the factors compliment the way that the story is told.
I know of the instances that you speak of.....I do see many of these kids looking up to Thugs more then God....I see women out here walking around like they can only afford part of the material and not all of it....BUT THEN THINK THEY LOOK GOOD.....Nah......I see these men out here giving up on hope as well. The streets have a way of leaving a person in shackles....or so that is what one chooses to believe.
If only one could read the message that you just portrayed and take it to heart as I just did....the hood would be safer..not only for ourselves....but for our generations to come as well.
Very impressive to see such a powerful speech out of you. And done in a way that any person with urban knowledge could take in.
i love this, it really struck true, it was raw and gritty while being cleverly written. as per li li's comment, i hope people read this and think again before "tooling up" or hitching up that skirt, this needs to be put to a beat and released
Really I would usually tend to drift away from a few of these words in a poem "Yah" but you pulled it off really well I personally have no real complaints about this, and I also think many young mothers and teens out there need badly to read this, you made some very good and very valid points in here and it overall was indeed a very enjoyable read! Keep it up man, good work!
Submission Name: Young One's
