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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Without a Questiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aknahlij_d 1
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Loueezy
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 369/516/136
    Words: 454
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 1432
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2678



    Description:
       2 verses. Amor Vincit Omnia


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithout a Questiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    you can assume all that you want from the spacing of these bars
    and never forget what you truly are, with all your flaws and scars
    you are among the dogs and cats of drout and rest
    and i love you for it
    never change from pencil to pastel, do whatever feels best
    express, yourself freely and nevermind me
    cuz you're words have turned me into some type of idle zombie
    i crave your hearts on a platter, silver spoons and silver palettes
    just to suit the truth in your spirit, its barely adequate
    i'd have to commendeer a fucking battelship
    to combat the jones that i'm feeling now at this moment for my homies

    just move along and pretend like you never knew me
    and never saw me at my weakest, you seem to look rite through me
    and i'll just pretend that everything that i know is history
    so you can carry on along and forget me

    i swallow knives to cut the tension from my pride
    and stand beside the corroner to make sure none of them died
    and i'll be aside from that gurney praying for a stranger
    and hopefully i'm not even somewhat acquainted with the patient
    running low on patience, everyone seems eager to break free
    and hate me in the same breath, i'm better off dead than lonely
    when you're gone its only me left to wander round my consciousness
    and hiking with spotlight trying to see where the problem is
    this isn't about our parents, and how we can't stand 'em
    cuz we're just spoiled teenagers who can't seem to manage

    just move along and pretend like you never knew me
    and never saw me at my weakest, you seem to look rite through me
    and i'll just pretend that everything that i know is history
    and i can go free, knowing all these homies will forget me

    i chose to bide time, but no one will let me rewind
    its like they place something behind me, i'm blindly stumbling on
    kindly, something i love has left no room for breath
    i attempt to put two grains of salt between me and them
    in my free time, i rhyme on how i'm so paranoid
    its amazing how i manage to hide the fear in every line,
    but it rears its ugly side in every time i try to bide time
    for those things that i think will never end yet i know will
    i go on and hold still, and feel the cold chill with no fear
    no more
    so sore and so lone, ranger on the road in a hail storm
    with nothing but chain mail on





    Submitted on 2006-06-23 16:43:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So what's going on darling? This seems like quite a "I loved you, but you hate me" piece. Makes me think of the chorus to a song: "How can you hate me when all I ever wanted to be was you? How can you love me when all you ever give me are open wounds?" I think the rhyming sucked, but that's just a technicality(sp). The message was loud and clear, which brings me back to my first thought. What's going on? Let me know. Text me or PM me or something. I'm worried about you and I miss you! Love you much.
    Hannah
    | Posted on 2006-06-23 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      you can assume all that you want from the spacing of these bars
    and never forget what you truly are, with all your flaws and scars

    i liked those lines because they are real as [censored]. u make it seem like the reader doesn't really know u then u start to tell them about themselves and they can't help but feel amazed by ur insight.

    i crave your hearts on a platter, silver spoons and silver palettes
    just to suit the truth in your spirit, its barely adequate

    i like these cuz of the pallets/adequate rhyme. that's it. lol. pretty damn original

    i swallow knives to cut the tension from my pride
    and stand beside the corroner to make sure none of them died

    now that's a phucking metaphor!

    this isn't about our parents, and how we can't stand 'em
    cuz we're just spoiled teenagers who can't seem to manage

    this is so [censored] true. my girl can't stand her parents and she's always [censored]ing about em but i get tired of that [censored] and i just wanna tell her to shut up because she doesn't know how good she has it. u spit the truth pj. dyr, baby
    | Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this one. See...with the tighter lines white girl can understand a little betta! LMFAO! JP!

    I definitely like it when you stand alone on your pieces. You keep the same beat and the same guidelines that you started with. I am pretty impressed with this one. You did use a lot of punch lines that would a person looking like .

    You got in a zone and you went with it. And when I began to read this....you got me to enter that zone with you!

    This was a good one! I applaud your talent shown here.

    Hurrah Hurrah!



    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


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