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To Know Me


Author: LadyMustang
ASL Info:    42, female, West Virginia
Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 222 /171 /71
Words: 192
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1440
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1103



Description:




To Know Me



" To Know Me"

To know me ...
Is to know the darkness within this heart.
To feel the pain that lingers within
my soul.

To Know me...
Is to feel the fear, I fight it all the time,but
it never does disappear.

You know the demon within that will not
die,the part of my soul he hides so I can
not cry.

To know me...
Is to feel the saddness that is buried so deep, The place my tears fill but never weep.
It's to embrace the pain that a broken love can
bring,To be unloved like me an angel with
one wing.

To know me...
Is to see the darkness that is there, Taking years of abuse from the ones that doesn't care.

It's to know death because, It's the last of your soul's breath.
It's to let go and see as my spirit will fly, To depart from my heart and finally say good-bye.

Written By: Ladymustang copyright@2006 Ladymustang's Poetry





Submitted on 2006-06-23 22:39:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  These are my favourite lines:
"To know me...
Is to know the demon within that will not
die,the part of my soul he hides so I can
not cry.

To know me...
Is to feel the saddness that is buried so deep, The place my tears fill but never weep. "

THAT is painfully beautiful

LM
| Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by LadyMerlina | [ Reply to This ]
  Everyone has a part of themselves that feels unloved and uncared for but every one is loved somehow. The poem was very dark but needed to be written, people always claim to "know you" but never take the time to dive deep into someones person. I love the line that says "The place my tears fill but never weep"

Good write, and remember someone loves you no matter how you FEEL, most of the time the more love you put out the more you will recieve

with love
James
| Posted on 2006-07-08 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't think you need to keep saying "To know me": you could just say it once. You could say:

To know me--
is to know the darkness within this heart.

Is to feel the pain that lingers within
my soul.

I think I'd prefer a dash to the overused ellipsis too. They grate on me because it seems nearly every poem has numerous ones, and the work is usually stronger without them.

In "Is to feel the fear I fight it all the time,but
it never does disappear," I'd I'd put another comma after fear. There are a few other commas that I might add or delete in this, so I'd proofread it with that in mind.

I also think I'd look at my line breaks because some of them are so long: I'd likely break them where there's a natural tendency to pause.

I hope all is well,
Amy







| Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  We all have sides of us that we think others do not know. Yet, I think that a lot of times...there is a side of ourselves that even we do not know. For...I see a light within you....you choose to share your poetry which does in fact shed a light upon others.

This was a dark piece. I know how it is to be in that state of darkness. And when you can't see, you do not know how to turn the light on....you can't find anything. And often...you lose yourself.

I liked the format of this. It carried on that dark feel. You got your emotions across rather well.

Keep your head up.

Li Li
| Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
  Even in the darkest times Wilma, a light will always flicker. Find that flicker and turn it into a flame that will shine bright for you.

This write is very sad, yet very well crafted and expresed.

Frank.
| Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
  you are a great writer. you know how to put words together so that they draw you in time after time. you are great withthe rhyming. great work on this piece.
| Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
  This was very very sad, some might even go so far as tragic, but it was a beautiful kind of pain that was so easy to relate to and I feel so bad that this happened, because there's truelly nothing that can make a pain like this ever go away, ironic how beautiful misery can be, and I know it feels that way sometimes,and I know you were just flowing, not looking for someone to say this but I care about you alot hun, and I"m always here for you
very very wonderful write,
[{<jess>}]
| Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


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