Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Some sin

Author: obaid
ASL Info:    21/M/Gauntlet
Elite Ratio:    4.52 - 148 /93 /34
Words: 275
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1525
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1753


another poem that wanted to come off my chest and onto paper....wrote this heck long ago but couldn't submit due to exams. well now that i've submitted comment on it!

Some sin

Just hearing your name
Brings all the pain back again;
Seeing you makes me realise that
I have been fooled by my emotions again.

It just came in that all that you ever said was a lie-
I have dissociated to a thousand pieces?
Not knowing what to do now or what to think.
Self-mutilation-shameless thing to do
Tears roll down as blood rolls down with every blink!

Images stream in my head; I'm turning pages that
I've left unturned for long.
I stop at the last page-it reads:
"I never want to hear from you again. LEAVE ME ALONE"

No, this isn't the way it should be; I've numbed my mind
Of you before and it is still possible.
You had said: "you're the only guy I talk to"
Sh*t, I can't stop thinking about you it's impossible!

I'm walking towards the pub to drink away my sorrows.
I see the people staring at me.
I'm stumbling at every step
I'm trying to keep my eyes open as darkness tries to overtake me!

Drinking till I can drink no more
Don't know why between us it didn't work,
Why I couldn't score.
Walking back towards home totally drunk-
It's late at night and I'm wet due to the falling dew.
I wake up the next morning-it was useless drinking-cause I'm still thinking about you!

Well, I guess this is how my life shall remain;
And with you as a burden I shall stay alive.
When I cut myself-I sin. When I drink-I sin.
And with you as my biggest sin-this death like life I shall survive!

Submitted on 2006-06-24 04:34:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  While I was reading this, I couldn't help but rap the lines! Whenever we may have our album, this MUST be in it!!! RAP ON! ROCK ON!
PS: It's definitely a rap, cuz u usd 'sh*t'!!!;)
| Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?