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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: give me the beatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unknown soldier
    ASL Info:    17/kenner, La (N.O)
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 1348/1346/203
    Words: 263
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1036
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 1597



    Description:
       another write, another day. comment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgive me the beatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Spinning dreams
    Thatís all I have as I drown the screams
    Of the obscene beings who live their lives on the screen
    Our lives being demeaned as spectators play the scenes
    That show that life isnít just how it seems
    Bringing a different thesis with facts
    Trying to prove to the world that Jesus was black
    All these half time believers are whack
    But Iím one of them
    So I guess Iím just a deceiver on tracks
    Guns cause death
    You canít conceive us with Macs
    Other emcees are only worried about receiving them plaques
    With cash bundles and stacks
    Itís all good in the hood if you hustle and bone hoes
    Cuz you be selling em crack
    All I need is a mic
    All you have is your tats and a gat
    All of your respect is an act
    Slicing my own wrists
    If thatís what it takes to make you bastards react
    Time for war so shall I defend or attack?
    Iím a martyr
    Soul evacuated, my body leaves in a sack
    Bullets go through my chest and leave through my back
    Laying on my face drowning in blood
    Schemes of revenge, no longer crying like doves
    Resurrecting again
    This rap shit isnít a trend
    The messages I send
    Are supposed to lift up the women and men
    And slaughter the friends who are always plotting your ends
    Trust has become obsolete as I battle through conceit and deceit
    Blueprints are out, planning for these traitorís defeat
    All I need is a mic, somebody give me a beat




    Submitted on 2006-06-24 23:50:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      One of those raps that I can actually appreciate. If all rap was like this I would rethink my choice of music. Great job.
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by tokillthedead | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice! I think your rhyming was good. Your flow was good, but not as as good as I know you can make it. The wording was very effective. I felt you were not as hard hitting as you normally are, but still you did good.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really good! the best i think ive read of urs in awhile! but i could really u noe apprepciate this and i cant spell dammit! u didnt lose me i understood it which is suprising ok! on to da next one bye!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      u a fag real [censored]
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]
      i disagree i think it flowed perfectly from beginning to end...you have a powerful messege....honestly im not a rap person...but with verses like yours i could be....

    AL
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      iight iight let me find out lol. This was hot all the way through. It kept me hanging on every word and all i know was it was tight. Idk it had a deeper meaning than what was on the outside, you have the talent of doing that so keep it up.


    DePoetry
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      hey bubz, this was kool, u only get better!, flow was tight and consistant, lot of thoughts were touched here, i liked it!
    keep em cummin
    kyrenia
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      Yo dre drop the verse.. jus kiddin but seriously i really liked it in the beggining but you sorta lost me in the middle to the end.
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by oblivious | [ Reply to This ]
      awwww, I thought this was so sweet. How when you had said, "The messages I send
    Are supposed to lift up the women and men"
    I unserstand this, you have meaning in your raps, it's more than a ryhme. Unlike the other rappers out there only trying to get money and just for what? for bragging abuot stupid [censored]. I love this alot, I'm still waiting for the day that you be recognized, and when you said, "All I need is a mic, somebody give me a beat". The beginning was different from the end, but it all went smooth anyhow.

    Keep it up babe!

    -saveddragon
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]


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