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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ** Ment to Bedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 903
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 630



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots** Ment to Bedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Two people waiting on the corner
    For the light to change
    Cars fly by
    Along with time
    But the two remain the same

    They don't know it yet
    But destiny has its ways
    Of bringing people together
    As time goes day by day

    One is from a dairy farm
    With hundreds of cows and crop
    The other is from a bigg, brick house
    On the corner of Queen and Younge

    These two opposites
    Were meant to be
    As far as destiny can see
    Yet all they really have in common
    Is one street light waiting to turn green.




    Submitted on 2006-06-25 17:52:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, firstly, it would be good if you corrected the typo meant to be together in the title.
    These two opposites were meant to be
    As far as destiny can see
    Yet all they really have in common
    Is one street light waiting to turn green.
    .

    I noticed that this was the only verse with 5 lines without counting because of the excessive number of breaks in it. This distracted me from the piece and so I decided to simply join two of the lines. All was clear in this. It reminded me of an old favourite of mine, even though his perception and topic was different from yours. Just let me know if you want to read it, I found it great.

    You highlighted your creativity here. Well done


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful! It gives the impression that people we see every day are people who may very well affect our lives in the long run, and not just be there for a fleeting second.
    I like also how it shows that something as simple as a stoplight can be a pinpoint in our lives.
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Freespyryt554 | [ Reply to This ]


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    108349

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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