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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Inviolatedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1132
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 756



    Description:
       This poem is a twin with my other piece, 82nd Street Blues. You'll notice much of the same imagery in both pieces. The odd thing is that they were written at totally different times about totally different people, and I didn't notice until just now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInviolatedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The edge of his finger is
    brushing your stomach as
    something connects for
    a moment or two.

    Suddenly speaking like
    someone is listening
    mindful of secrets and
    fire running through?

    Bedroom philosophy?
    eyes on the stucco and
    mind on sensation of
    nails over skin...

    Stick to your story, this
    moment's forever; you're
    lost in this rapture, you're
    letting him in.

    Listen, you hear it? he's
    asking your faith in the
    mournful idea that
    nothing can end/

    Whispers in darkness, a
    wish for fulfillment, a
    wanting to kiss you, to
    morrow a friend.




    Submitted on 2006-06-26 15:31:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wonderful piece.
    Captivating enough from the beginning to leave the reader curious about the end.
    There's something about this poem that is almost dreamy, not quite though. I can't put my finger on the word.
    Unreal?
    But in a good way.
    I love how questions arose through out the poem.
    Lovely.
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]
      Very beautiful, actually one of the few passion poems I've read in a very long time. It was alluring and captivating and I was caught up in your words and your descriptions like I was there, very nicely done. One thing though, in your second to last stanza at the end of your last line you have a / and I don't know why...I'll check out your other one you pointed out in your description, too. Peace.

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]


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    108477

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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