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    dots Submission Name: Broken Hearteddots

    Author: butterfly_chi5
    ASL Info:    19/F
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 111/71/28
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1030
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 657

       *edited, I changed the "peices". :) thanks

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBroken Hearteddots

    I'm lost again
    feeling so alone
    The world is spinning
    and I'm trapped far below.

    Broken Hearted
    pieces falling everywhere
    fighting the rift inside
    that threatens to tear.

    It seems to hard to walk
    while darkness pushes close
    monsters fight to keep
    my frightened soul trapped here.

    Broken Hearted
    pieces falling everywhere
    is there hope inside
    to heal whats hidden there?

    Though the world seems dark
    and monsters try to kill
    I wont be broken hearted
    I'm alive and fighting still.

    Submitted on 2006-06-26 19:10:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A wonderful poem about moving on, pushing through the heart break. I liked the rhyme in this piece, even though it's absent in the third stanza. The only thing I noticed (on a negative note), was the misspelling of "pieces." Fix that, and I'd say it's perfect. Good work.

    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i think that despite the few typing and grammar errors, that i myself make, this is a great one.
    i can really feel the despair that you feel in the second and third stanza, and the hope and self reliance in the last.

    out of interest, what is it that your walking to, that you cant get to?

    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem. It is very deep, and you write very well.
    I especially enjoyed the ending where it says "I'm alive and fighting still". It shows that all hope isn't lost.
    Again, this was a nice poem, and I'm going to add it to my favorites.

    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]

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