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    dots Submission Name: Existance in a dreamdots

    Author: Poetic
    ASL Info:    21/Female/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 78/39/19
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 879
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1091


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    dotsExistance in a dreamdots

    I exist only in a dream
    Where you never leave my side.
    Where I never had to walk away
    And where you never left me.

    Outside this dream I breath
    But my heart does not beat.
    I smile....
    But my soul knows no happiness.
    I talk with intelligence
    But every word I speak is empty.

    I exist only within a parallel reality
    Where you are still in my world.
    Where your eyes mirror my own
    And where you will love me for an eternity.
    A life contained within a whitewashed,
    Cushioned cell.

    Outside this dream I am nobody,
    Just another helpless lunatic
    Left only with the straight jacket
    That I was cast within,
    As I said goodbye to the real world
    And entered the contentment of this asylum.

    Outside this prison I am nobody,
    But another helpless soul
    Left only with the fictional dream
    That I could not live without.
    Left to walk only the imaginary corridors
    Of my lost psyche.

    Submitted on 2006-06-26 19:46:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      im not converted...
    this seems like too many other lost love pieces i have encountered and really thats not your fault its prolly just that i have read a lot of said pieces and well..
    its hard to write about something everyone has written about atleast once and make it sound your own...
    you have places here that sound like your trying to deviate from the done thing but i guess the cliché ideas have a stronger pull... dunno...

    your first stanza reminds me of a song though i cannot quite pinpoint which one it is... perhaps its Dido 'here with me' but im not sure...
    the idea of parallel worlds when it comes to not being able to let go has been used time and time again to the point that it is overdone in my book but i kinda like how your parallel world is a mental assylum...

    i dont know... my boyfriend died and i managed to live without a parallel world... maybe thats just me...

    man... this comment sucks... im so sorry... i dont mean it to sound harsh...

    i like your whitewash cusioned cell... thats a really cool image and i think it ought be kinda safe and yet if you step out of that whitewash for one second your gonna be slapped around and dragged down and out again... the dangers of putting yourself in a cell i guess...

    anyways... i hope you are able to find a way of merging both worlds and continuing on with your life... good luck
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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