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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ** Liedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 761
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 845



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots** Liedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A part of me was taken,
    When you left that Christmas Day.
    Standing on the doorstep,
    As I watched you look away.

    A look of shame had crossed your face,
    When I asked where you had been last night.
    A hesitant grin, a twinkle in your eye,
    Then your excuse came out.

    "Where else would I be hun,
    Then at the Baker's house?
    You know he had a new stock of gin
    And I went to try it out."

    How foolish I had been to believe that lie.
    Seeing the red marks on your cheek,
    And the handkerchief in your pocket.
    You claimed were from old Baker's mom.

    So as you left that Christmas night,
    I only had one regret
    And that was ever meeting you,
    But that I can soon forget.




    Submitted on 2006-06-26 19:49:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was good
    the rhyming kept it more interesting then some of your other posts.


    guys can be idiots to lie when its obvious there hiding something. Only if all girls were like you and could recognize this then guys might try to change.

    GOod read
    PC
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought it was good, though I was kinda of distracted by the lack of quotations. I know that shouldn't be a big thing, but since your asking for first impressions, I thought I might throw that in. Other then that, I liked how simplistic and relative it was. I didn't need to read it eight billion times to understand the feeling or anything else. It all sunk in after the first time, and that takes some great talent.

    Cheers,
    ~Sephe~
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]


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    108534

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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