Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: These Wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gravitic
    ASL Info:    20/m/tn
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 28/30/8
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 296



    Description:
       I wrote this in about 2 minutes with no revision at all.. pure thoughts


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThese Wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These words
    These simple words
    These three simple words

    They don’t come easy
    They mean so much

    I want to speak them

    To you.

    I want to tell you.
    To tell you…

    I Love You.

    @




    Submitted on 2006-06-26 23:22:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well, for raw thoughts, that is really good, and dont worry, ive had the same problem, not being able to tell someone.
    perhaps the first three lines could be cut to two, and the entire poem could be a little longer, because it was enjoyable to read, i was a little upset that it was over so quick.
    after a bit of revision, this will be a real good poem.
    eowyn
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      Well done. This was a tad bit cliché, and pulled off in a very slow manner. I liked the last half, but the first half needs to be redone, because it really doesn't mean anything. It's a string of cliché words that might sound good to someone. A better way to do it would think of different ways to say what you're thinking.
    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    108567

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by ShyOne
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The World written by jjd
    prison written by ShyOne
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Etiquette written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry