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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: These Wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gravitic
    ASL Info:    20/m/tn
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 28/30/8
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 628
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 296



    Description:
       I wrote this in about 2 minutes with no revision at all.. pure thoughts


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThese Wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These words
    These simple words
    These three simple words

    They don’t come easy
    They mean so much

    I want to speak them

    To you.

    I want to tell you.
    To tell you…

    I Love You.

    @




    Submitted on 2006-06-26 23:22:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      well, for raw thoughts, that is really good, and dont worry, ive had the same problem, not being able to tell someone.
    perhaps the first three lines could be cut to two, and the entire poem could be a little longer, because it was enjoyable to read, i was a little upset that it was over so quick.
    after a bit of revision, this will be a real good poem.
    eowyn
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      Well done. This was a tad bit cliché, and pulled off in a very slow manner. I liked the last half, but the first half needs to be redone, because it really doesn't mean anything. It's a string of cliché words that might sound good to someone. A better way to do it would think of different ways to say what you're thinking.
    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]


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