Every day they ignore her
as if she isn't there
everyday they push her down
without a care
no one sees the real her
not the other side
no one ever sees her
becasue she had to hide
she hides from them
the ones who hurt her bad
she runs away from them
the ones who made her mad
but she still has to see them everyday
she still has to hear all their lies
she has to face them everyday
and fight back the tears in her eyes
she has never been accepted
they made the voices happen in her head
telling her she's worthless, ugly
and should be dead
she can't stop the voices anymore
not like she used to
they created her pain, and still are
and that's something she can't undo
The question is whether she should end it
because no one ever hears her cries
and no one can ever feel her pain
on the outside she is happy
but on the inside she's upset
and the voices just keep popping in her head
they will not let her forget
she wants to end it now
and she wants to disappear
she wants to get away from it all
and get rid of all her fears
she grabs the blade with her hand
tears fill her eyes
she blames it on them
there the reason her life was a lie
as her life flashes before her eyes
she doesn't even give it a second thought
because of them her life meant nothing
and it wouldn't be any loss
blood surrounds her
she's no longer breathing
she closes her eyes
and her body is freezing
a few suggestions, the line "without a care" seems to stop so suddenly, and perhaps taking the so out of "hurt her so bad" i know you want the emphasis on how badly she was hurt, but the so kind of jams it a little. perhaps just "they made the voices in her head" because voices in your head, as far as ive experienced are a personal thing, but not one that just "happens". i think you meant tears fill her eyes. they're the reason.
sorry that i just opicked it apart like anything there. i just wanted to get that out of the way before i got into the positives.
it was a really powerful ending, that slaps you in the face. apart from the things i mentioned above, the flow is easy to follow.
i really relate to this, because i went through a similar phase. it was one of the toughest times of my life, but im really glad that im over it now, and i hope you are too.
this is one of the forst ones where the length doesnt bother me, and im easily detered. well done
Submission Name: Ignored
