Poison Ivy in Your Veins by Toxic_Rayne

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Submission Name: Poison Ivy in Your Veins dots

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Author:	Toxic_Rayne
ASL Info:	16/f/a happier place
Elite Ratio:	4.7 - 1313/1094/162
Words:	231

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	347
Average Vote:	4.5000
Bytes:	1741

Description:
don't know, don't care...just came...there will probably be a sequell not sure, lol

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Poison Ivy in Your Veins dots

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I'll take these fake smiles
and shove them down your throat
Sorry I burned your marriage isles
and abortion was the "goat"
I'll make believe it's all pretend
and kill the Kennedys once again, saying
Sorry for your broken heart that
you cannot seem to mend
We've cracked the golden egg
and Jesus is in a coma
Sorry for your blackout plague
and sweet death's aroma
I'll crush this powdered stone...
Make you feel so odd...
I'll break your holy throne...
You're a pope not a god

Lo and behold...
An immortal demise
Made up of your love, your ignorance....
Your useless disguise
Broken and in disarry....
Shot down one by one
Welcome to Columbine
Behind the smoking gun
Your preacher's kid...
Shot an honor student
Hatred burning strong
Revenge seeming prudent
It's just another pipe bomb crammed down our helpless throats....
We rewrite biblical stories, recreating the holy ghost...
I'll take a bullet to the Pro-life
Watch, children, as reverend beats his wife
Spider legs like suicide
Clouded memories...
Silver tied and spoiled
Broken reveries...
Marching in time to induced queues
Black widow spiders leaving purple hues
Chain these fears...
and leave with blood-stained tears
These thoughts scream through my head
as I lay dying on a stretcher...
A girl falling with no one to catch her
Emergency 911
Please don't let this be said and done....

Submitted on 2006-06-27 01:13:39 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  wow...i'm not sure exactly what to say...it's really good and you express your emotion really well...for me this poem makes me think how religion really works... the lines "Sorry for your broken heart that
you cannot seem to mend
We've cracked the golden egg
and Jesus is in a coma
Sorry for your blackout plague
and sweet death's aroma
I'll crush this powdered stone...
Make you feel so odd...
I'll break your holy throne...
You're a pope not a god" really got me to think about how in religion the so called "leaders" are put up on pedestools to be worshiped...at least its that way in the Catholic faith....

| Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by dramachic2010 | [ Reply to This ]
  nice write...you had descent structure...

the rhymes were simple yet impactful with the content.

I like the thought provoking effect of your write..

keep it up

PC
| Posted on 2006-11-12 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ah, this shows the many faults in religion and humanity. I really like this peace :D it's going on my favourites.

-- Jason Clement
| Posted on 2006-08-05 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very interesting write you cover alot of different issues in this piece and I like the way you have expressed yourself in this write the emotions come out very strong and deep I really enjoyed reading this one looking forward to reading more take care I really like this one alot great write!!!

Ladymustang
| Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
  Huh? You actually did it?

It's a very emotional and angry one, throwing together every sort of pop culture refererence (and disemboweling each in turn). I'm struck with the idea of Jesus in a coma... that's good. You used the phrase differently than I expected, and that's a pleasant surprise- love and ignorance being, in fact a useless disguise... love and ignorance being both of them...fake. The title's cool, too.
| Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
  There is so much in this poem I don't know where to begin. So, I'm just going to say I like it. A lot. I'm going to read it again, and ummm...probably again and again, just to see what I can get out of this. Very good indeed.
| Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by .:eVe:. | [ Reply to This ]
  ok...this is so hard to explain. there is so much i can say about this. whether its good or bad. i really like the write itself and i love how you show the hatred in society and anarchy in the world and blah blah but i dunno, there is something about it that just POPS! like "haaa, world! [censored] and this is how i see you today!" something like that. and i would think it would be better if it was broken up in stanzas on some parts. but thats just me.
great job..

_bleedingtears
| Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
  wow. this poem made me feel emotions and I don't even know exactly why. That is amazing. I loved the whole wording and everything.. How do I describe how I liked this? I don't even know. I really loved the part about columbine. the whole thing is fantastic and very emotional. amazing write. keep up the good work!

Ashley
| Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by star_on_fire22 | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem is great. i Love the Imagery to it. It tells greatly what you are feeling and thinking. i think this is one of my favorites
| Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]
  i am not sure what to say about this one! i think it's my favorite of yours, it displays the not so innocent side of religions and unveils them as what they really are, fake and brainwashing, and slightly evil.
| Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by whispered_chaos | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a good write. It's quite interesting and full of emotion. I like how you expressed yourself in this. The flow never skipped a beat. Great pic. Keep on writing.

Sarah
| Posted on 2006-06-30 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm this was interesting to read. I liked it. It had a lot of promise behind it. There is this thing behind it. This feeling that i just don't understand.

"Black widow spiders leaving purple hues
Chain these fears...
and leave with blood-stained tears
These thoughts scream through my head
as I lay dying on a stretcher...
A girl falling with no one to catch her
Emergency 911
Please don't let this be said and done...."

I really love this part. I think about this in relation to my life. i can feel it falling apart.
(These thoughts scream through my head
as I lay dying on a stretcher...)

Yet there is nothing you can do but sit there and hope you will make it through all the heartach. But the only person you have to depend on is yourself.. and your not sure if that was enough... (A girl falling with no one to catch her
Emergency 911
Please don't let this be said and done....)

~Jenn~
| Posted on 2006-06-30 00:00:00 | by Akai_Ame | [ Reply to This ]

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