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    dots Submission Name: this aint no cinderella storydots

    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1352
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthis aint no cinderella storydots

    She thought her world was perfect,
    with the man she loved.
    She wanted nothing more,
    than to love him and be loved.
    Just the fact that they were together,
    made her happier than ever,
    and to think she'd have him forever
    was more than she'd bargained for.

    The fairytale didnt last long,
    he'd taken her love for granted
    and left her for another girl.
    There wasnt much left,
    but still she stood strong,
    she counldnt be weak
    coz she had to move on.
    Hope still lingered in her,
    that someday her love will be back,
    and her love grows stronger
    as life goes on.

    Submitted on 2006-06-27 08:33:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Aw... thats sad! But yet happens to so many people. I like the title it suits it well.
    Good write,
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by Darklonelygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing, the title really fit. I think finding the perfect title is hard, but you made it fit. The text was awesome. One spelling error: wee should probably be were
    Good job
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this poem. i like how you talk about heartbreak. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      It's good. It flows well, and expresses emotion clearly. I like the first verse better, but I can't quite pin down why.

    You put 'wee' instead of 'were' at one point. Sloppy spelling suggests you didn't put much thought into it, try to avoid that.
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by alias13 | [ Reply to This ]

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