Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

untitled


Author: Rain
ASL Info:    22/F/Idaho
Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 531 /514 /70
Words: 85
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1408
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 582



Description:


Bored at work


untitled



Coming,
Going,
Disappear.

People tell you
they will forever be with you.
In your heart and likewise in theirs.

Light,
Dark,
Bleakness.

We will meet again,
When we assend to Heaven.
Yeah right, Hell is my domain.

White,
Black,
Transparent.

The innocence is taken,
by the cruelty of the world,
the misery that people endure.

Into our corners we go.
Hiding from all.
Seeing, we do not.




Submitted on 2006-06-27 13:48:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is quite good! Kind of has that vibe of the non believing in the "big talkers". I know the write didnt have a rhyme foundation to it, but I read the last line as, Seeing, we do not know.

I enjoyed this one Kimbre. Nice job.
| Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



108612