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chorus of scars


Author: silent_death12
Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 1739 /805 /135
Words: 157
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1415
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1005



Description:


probably not as good as it could have been, I've been trying to get back into the flow of things, also the original title for this was "beneath contempt" but I switched it cause this one felt more right


chorus of scars



cutting out another lie I didn't create,
bleeding for a reality I could never explain.
painting a picture of scars and blood,
as my blade burns images into my flesh,
each fading into another secret never to be told;
as each scar is a shattered reminder of a million mistakes;
proof that some memories aren't meant to fade away,
and some mistakes can never be forgiven.
but with blood comes contempt, not redemption,
as you glare at your scars with equal pride and disdain.
fragile slits torn across pale, lifeless skin.
as the blood falls, thoughts flood into your mind,
and suddenly, the silence of your heartbeat becomes chaotic,
as the blade falls lightly to the ground with one echo:
and the cycle continues again; pain, anger, blade and regrets.
but sitting in the dark, staring at the blade,
I know this won't be the last time,
I end my night in a chorus of scars.




Submitted on 2006-06-27 20:26:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I sometimes find it funny that I just now noticed this about you. Every time you think one of your poem's aren't that good, they tend to kick ass, lol. Seriously though. I could definitely relate to this. Especially the feelings about the scars and how some memories were never meant to fade. I can totally grasp the feeling for, I do the same thing that you do. Sometimes I wish I had never started doing it, cuz now I have to watch myself. All I can really say is that this is a very good poem and I'm honored to add it to my favorite's list.

*tox*
| Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  This is very emotional and such an open and honest write. I have a hard time personally relating to writes such as this as I could never understand this concept. I could never understand how hurting ones self made anything any better but it seems that so many younger people fall victim to this so there must be some sort of reason. I can only hope that you can find some more healthy ways of dealing with your pain. There is so much good in life, and you are still young, you havent even started to really live yet. Try to look beyond the sadness, and maybe you can make a difference in your own life. I hate to think of you hurting yourself this way. As far as the poem goes, it is well written and expressed and I hope you find a healthy release through your writings. Please take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  i think i just fell in love. this poem is perfect. i love this piece so much it is wonderful. so honesst so true. straight, out a lot of emotions. i love this piece. keep posting. please. write me with more of you work. i love this poem!!!
love tina
| Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
  sad poem and full of pain but i thought that it was good. i can defiatly relate. been there with that blade digging through my veins feeling like it is bleeding out all the bad times. very powerful poem strong words makes you think about what your doing if your asking me. sad though. enjoyd it though so yeah great job! really enjoyed it.
maddie
| Posted on 2006-07-21 00:00:00 | by BarleyBreathing | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey this is one work of art that takes me back
a couple of mounths ago where i used to cut
and i used anyhing that was sharp just to kill the pain for a little while then start all over again. Yeah its hard to stop but when the scars start to fade you relize that maybe quitting is the right thing. "but with blood comes contempt
not redemtion" yea that's what really took me back.
| Posted on 2006-06-30 00:00:00 | by LovesAngel | [ Reply to This ]
  at first I seriously thought that you were talking about me, thats how much i can relate to this poem. Wait that's starting to be a bad comment, ok the first thing i've noticed is that this doesn't rhyme, not that its a bad thing, it just seems different. At first I didn't really like it but then as I read it, it got better and better. Also it flow pretty well so i dont think thats a problem. Your main problem as a writer is that you make your writes too damn powerful and my comments end up being really long ;). OK so yah this is another really powerful poem, damn ur just so good at that and the meaning with in a meaning kind of writing is also something your really good. Here lets dissect some of it.

"Cutting out another lie I didn't create"

Ok, this is just too much. The first thing I imagined is myself cause that happens all the time. This is so true how people can lie to you and hurt you so bad that you abosrb it in and then feel as if the only way to get rid of it is to cut yourself aka cut it out. You worded that just right.

"bleeding for a reality I could never explain"

This really shows what amazing wording can do. First I like that you say bleeding instead of cutting or something like that because it makes it all that more morbid. Here you're saying that its because of something that happened in your life is why you're cutting, but either you dont know why it happened how its just too sad and overwhelming that you dont want to talk about it. Either way that makes this line very emotional but not in the complaining kind of way.

"painting a picture of scars and blood,"

Damn, you really have a way with words. This is just brilliant. The way I got this is that the "picture" represents your own body and flesh and with the blade you're cutting yourself your painting a bloody picture on your own body. This is probably my favorite line in the whole poem. It is just brilliant the way you worded it, so original and creative, this just really speaks out to all the cutters out there (including moi).

"as my blade burns images into my flesh,"

This line kind of goes with the one above. You change the meaning of the word blade and making sound like a branding iron. First this is brilliant for two reasons. First because this is creative and very vivid how a blade can nearly brand you with scars. Second this works because i know that when i cut it almost feels like a burn, and i've been burned and caught fire a lot of times so i know what they feel like. Also I like that you said it burns images into your flesh because the scars and blood are images of the pain you hold inside, of the tears, of all the s.hit that's causing you to cut. A very powerful line.

"each fading into another secret never to be told;"

OK, sorry but this is going to be the last line I'm dissecting because I've already written too much and I dont want to bore you to death. Ok I love this line because it really speaks to me personally. I took this line two ways. First how even though the scar can fade, the memory and sometimes the hurt never does. You try to keep what you do a secret and try to make sure no one finds out. This line can also be read as how scars can fade but almost always, at least for me, they leave a mark that doesn't seem to fade and so it fades not phyically but into a secret that you try to keep hidden by wearing long-sleeved shirts, etc. Damn another powerful line.

"as each scar is a shattered reminder of a million mistakes;
proof that some memories aren't meant to fade away,"

Ok nevermind, I'm not done. Ok This line I think shows the point of this whole write. Even thought the scars may or may not fade, they will always be there mentally because of all the pain that was caused and all the problems the cutting seemed to relieve. So then the scars and memories show that even though you may want to forget, they will always be there whether you like it or not.

"but with blood comes contempt, not redemption,
as you glare at your scars with equal pride and disdain."

I just have to comment on this because this really shows emotion. When ppl cut, at least when I did, it may seem as if you've been relieved but then when you look at the scars, you wonder, "what the f.uck did I do?". Cutting may make you feel better but also it would make you full of self-hate, I would know. Those lines were just very powerful. Ok, I've written too much, sorry. This was just another very powerful write by you. Damn it! Stop it, you're making me write too much. You really have a way with words and can really make your writes reach out and touch someone. You're a damn good writer, don't forget that. I'm adding this to my fav list. Oh and please dont cut, if you wont do it for yourself then do it for me, cause I really care and i dont want you someday going to far and doing something worse. I'll be here for you. Ok peace
Neo
| Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
  oh, [censored]...damn girl, this, this is something that never should have been written. Not because it sucks, on the contrary, it's done, beyond adequettely. But because I know exactly what you go through to get to that write, to make it that passionate, meaningful, disgustingly beautiful. I hate it, but only becasue it's great. It's akward that such a majestic write can come from such a self-induced tragendy, depiste whatever rationalities one might tell oneself. I might give it a different format aside from that, good job at pulling beauty out of pain!
| Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  hey Jess. your getting back into the flow I'd say. this was great. emotion and the feeling of anger, regret and sadness flooded out of this. you painted me a picture of a girl sitting alone in the dark, holding the knife and cutting herself for the mistakes she made, for the pain she feels and for the addiction she cannot escape. this was really portrayed magnificently. it packed a great ending too.

now, i know alot of people would say "I'm here for you Jess" but not me.....why? because you already know I'm here for you.

Zach
| Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]
  Jess
My God id this one powerful
This one is to me your most emotional and best write yet
You really drew me back to the times I was alone with that knife in my hands
For you see with me it wasnt a razor it was a sharp thick steak knife I used to cut myself with
Thats how much I hated myself
Jess I want you to know I truly care Please try and be Positive
You know I am always here for you
Ill always be there
You are my little sis remember and even if you were my family the friendship we created would still be stronger
God Bless
Your Friend
Ron
| Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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