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    dots Submission Name: Butterfliesdots

    Author: sunset
    ASL Info:    21/F/Melb, Australia
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 76/46/32
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1092
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 441


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    Butterflies of tension
    Coil around the wire
    Snaking insecurity
    Burns the brightest star
    The mystery of illusion
    Becomes blinded by a flaw
    A small inconvenience
    From a shattered soul
    The broken arrow of trust
    Is lodged deep within
    Where inconceivable dreams
    Are falling from the sky
    And lonely hearts are forgotten
    Forever asking why

    Submitted on 2006-06-27 21:37:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This write is really dreamy
    To me you are speaking of how life is always changing
    First the butterfly is born
    Then she hides in a coccoon
    Then at the most beautiful stage of her life
    She is ready for death
    This is tragic if you think about it
    I really liked this
    Great Job with this one
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me feel as if I was dreaming..
    I didn't fully understand it, but as a form of self-expression, not everyone always understands.
    You could also say that you could make it more clear (the idea)
    It's a great write though.
    Good work.
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by fly52 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes poems are written terribly but they have a really good idea behind them so it's ok, the poem has potential and can be worked on. This poems the opposite, it's written beautifully and with good description and imagery, but there's no idea behind it, or at least no clear idea. It may be subtle and I've just missed it but then the theme of a poem should be clear.
    It's a very nicely written poem though, I like it, I just don't understand what it's trying to say.
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]

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