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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Syndl
    ASL Info:    28/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 56/55/19
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1079
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 520



    Description:
       I haven't come up with a title for this one yet. I've toyed with "Shh..." and "Don't Say a Word" but neither one really excite me. Suggestions are welcome.



    This was the first piece that ever scared me. It isn't something that ever happened to me, however, the emotion I felt when I wrote it.... it was scary.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shh…don’t say a word
    Hush child its almost done now
    I'll be finished soon
    Don’t tell anyone
    This will be our little secret
    Shh… please don’t cry
    Your tears wont do us any good
    There's no point in them
    No one can hear you...
    We're almost done now
    All I need is your silence
    And a piece of your innocence
    Such a small price to pay
    Daddy loves his little girl
    Just be quiet now
    Shh…don't say a word




    Submitted on 2004-05-14 16:43:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW!!! this was kinda scary and chillin! but the whole peom was awesome!! i couldn' belive for a dsecond what it was on but you go!! KEep up the good work
    | Posted on 2004-05-14 00:00:00 | by Kueen_Emerald | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is so well written and i dont mean in the sence that you put the words in the right place i mean it as though your words could mean nothing more than truth and honesty i almost feel as though i am looking into the eyes of that man that "good father" that he claims to be... opps ranting about thoughts beyond the poem. your really can write please dont stop show the world the power of words.. your words
    | Posted on 2004-05-14 00:00:00 | by PoetryQueen | [ Reply to This ]
      Scary is an understatement. I can't even begin to express the amount of fear this poem puts in me. Syndl, I've known you for quite some time--but we haven't ever really traded our writings. I love this piece.
    | Posted on 2004-05-14 00:00:00 | by Seiraryu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    10867

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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