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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my first haikudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: orpheus
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 188/165/57
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Haiku/Love
    Total Views: 1211
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 87



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy first haikudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Radient sunshine
    Rainbows bow tie the heavens
    as she softly sighs




    Submitted on 2006-06-28 07:50:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      woman is ...not... content...

    the response to a haiku is a quote,
    use one line minimalist
    | Posted on 2010-02-02 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad if it's your first one, keep it up. Haikus are traditionally meant to paint a mind picture of nature, and you did that. My only advice would be to drop the double "bow" in the middle line, as it reads a tiny bit awkwardly.

    Well done, haikus rule!

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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