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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: usglen
    ASL Info:    60-Male-Garden Grove,CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 59/71/44
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1069
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 728



    Description:
       This I wrote after a late winter rain storm.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rain, Rain go away
    Let it shower on my window pane
    For this I値l never be that way
    I値l shed the cold pain

    Come again another day
    So I can go out and play
    With grand hopes that the rain will soon be gone
    Gone at tomorrow痴 dawn

    For that I値l be able to
    Able to go out for the day
    I値l be gone until two
    It will even make me pay

    Cold air it brings
    We hang up our wet things
    And the rain we see is gone
    Gone after dawn

    For this I thank God
    Today I知 not looking odd
    This I will say every year
    Until winter goes away and makes me tear







    Submitted on 2006-06-28 10:59:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      First I have always wanted to write a poem about the rain, but I can't seem to find the right words for my poem. I like what you have done here. I think it could use a little more polish
    but it's good.
    | Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      First I have always wanted to write a poem about the rain, but I can't seem to find the right words for my poem. I like what you have done here. I think it could use a little more polish
    but it's good.
    | Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad, but i think that the rhyming scheme sounds a bit forced, especially at the end. I think you should just concentrate on writing down your heart felt words first, then if it comes out in rhyme, well it's just as well. But try to focus first.
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]


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