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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Unconquerabledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GothamFreak
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 110/48/19
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 909
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 691



    Description:
       War and murder has become a way of life for many... and it make me sick.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnconquerabledots
    -------------------------------------------


    as long as time passes
    blood shall be shed
    it is the blood of thy heroes
    thy loved ones
    and thy acquaintances

    this blood is that of the innocent
    and that of the guilty

    no matter how hard one tries
    and no matter how much will power one has
    blood shall be shed
    and lives shall be lost

    this blood is that of the grateful
    and that of the ungrateful

    no man can withstand it
    and no man can conquer it
    because....

    as long as time passes
    blood shall be shed

    it has become a way of life
    and it has become unconquerable




    Submitted on 2006-06-28 12:42:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this and it is so true...I get sick of all the fighting as well...but it will never stop until we are home.

    Kris
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is really original, it's nice to not see a clichéd piece of writing for a bit. I like how you make it clear that everyone dies, the innocent and guilty, grateful and ungrateful, it's true especially now in a time where the line between good and evil is so blurred.
    I think the title, 'unconquerable', is great, because was is all about conquering to get land, money, power, multiple reasons really and the one thing we can't conquer is the theory of war, the idea of it, because it keeps coming back and it keeps being used as a means of the worlds leaders getting what they want. The stanzas all fit together well which is suprising since the structure isn't that well put together. I really liked this, it made me think, normally I would compliment a poem on its emotion but this one doesn't have any, it has expression but it's emotionless, I think that's really fitting for this poem because war is so full of the harshest emotions possible that you have to stop feeling to survive, so war is emotionless.
    Anyway I've rambled on long enough, just to conclude I really liked this poem.
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]
      okay, one word wow it is very original and so it has an expression that is just amazing
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by LovesAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece, it made me think of all the conflicts that we have in the world today. I especially like the first line, it makes the poem really speak for itself. Great job. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by xana | [ Reply to This ]


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