For Mom and Dad

Author: Mr. Creep ASL Info:    16. Female. Here Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 96 /177 /112 Words: 114

Class/Type: Misc /I hate you Total Views: 1435 Average Vote:    5.0000 Bytes: 653

Description:

---

For Mom and Dad

---

I just want to leave I dont want to interrupt you I have to get out of here Or I might have to hurt you Go away now I see you are dying and it pisses me off That the whole world is dying Why are we here keeps running through my mind I hope a bullet dosent slip! keeps running through my mind You never trusted me or at least I never knew it You never belived in me but I found my way through it I will leave now so you dont have to worry I will kill myself now so you dont have to worry

Submitted on 2006-06-28 23:29:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

I think the 2nd person isn't that smart. "pissed off" describes your feelings in a great way because so many people say it nowadays. A devoted fan, FreeBird

| Posted on 2006-10-01 00:00:00 | by FreeBird | [ Reply to This ]

Great. I loved how you used the same word in every stanza for line two and four. Greatness at it's bestest. :D Haha, good job. -Missy

| Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Pabapfc | [ Reply to This ]

great, deep and true. i would just not ruin a serious poem with "pissed off"

| Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by NeverMyWorld | [ Reply to This ]

hey, nice job!!! keep it up :)

| Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by mrmundane | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

108827