This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Nuts On Your Dairy Queen Head?


Author: mrmundane
ASL Info:    20/m/vancouver bc
Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 47 /96 /78
Words: 82
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 797
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 557



Description:




Nuts On Your Dairy Queen Head?



enjoy a hapfilled life
with a soft serve head and your hoarfrosted dreams
the graywigged american
stalls atop iranian hidden screams
radiating necklaces smother
russian brothers under their tans from the dirt
the suckling pigs of chaos
drink idly by the mother's skirt
she protects her innocent from the truth
or so it is to control them
or is it they wouldn't care if she did
her milk is purposely euthanising them
so she can eat from her own taint-ridden blood




Submitted on 2006-06-28 23:55:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I really enjoyed this piece. It was unique, witty, and most definately clever.

I was a little preturbed with the title, for I feel a work of such magnitude deserves a more intriguing title.

I also think punctuation would serve you well. These a solid, real thoughts. A period or comma would complete the concerete design.

Well done and thank you for sharing.
| Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by beldolore | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



108834