Description: eeeeek...
ok... so i think i stole the title of this from a band... perhaps superjesus... i dunno... but it fitted...
posting this is the hardest thing i have ever done...
it is intense and in your face but it is the honest truth...
my last post (vengence is broken mirrors) was through my friends eyes... they are truely sorry this whole thing happened and wish they could take it away...
this is through my eyes... theres nothing there to take...
i am not out to offend with the imagery or nothing... im sorry... but its life...
bodies for breaking -------------------------------------------
i refuse to say
(or even think)
you ruined my life
you
(whoever and wherever you are)
are a powerless coward
you can break my body
but you'll never break me
uterus graffiti
is all you are
and its hard to scrub
those walls clean
(walls not yours to write on)
but believe me
i will
Ok, so I went looking one year back to see if you'd ever tried with the Serbian boy. And instead I found this.
It's painful, it's hard-hitting, but it's so so strong.
i refuse to say
(or even think)
you ruined my life
And that of course is the sentiment that empowers you: not hatred, not anger, just rising above it. He is just "uterus graffiti", a stain on you, yes, but one that can be scrubbed away. You are pure and beautfiul again, and he a bad memory swirling down the drain. He failed in breaking you. You won.
I like this a lot. Even if you hadn't of said anything in your description, anyone would obviously be able to see that it's personal. You're right, it's in your face and I love it, I think writing like that is good because it makes it so clear and emotional.
I like how came back to the line "You can break my body, but you'll never break me". It emphasises the line and makes the whole poem more powerful.
omg...my first comment...omg. kinda insecure about it, lol.
Anyways... Wow. I love this one...it's so...blunt? is that what I'm looking for? not sure. It's..."in your face"...like you said in the description. The "uterus graffiti" stanza is particularly amazing. You word things so well...
I know this was hard for you to post. But I think you're amazing for posting it. I seriously don't think I could ever do something like that.
Don't let what this guy did rule you. He really is just "a powerless coward" like you said. "you can break my body but you'll never break me" Live and breathe those lines...
You're so strong, Jayde. I know you can get through this. I hate that this happened to you. You know I'm here if you need anything... I love you.
You might say that this is the hardest piece you've posted but this sounds like the most brave of pieces you've posted. "you'll never break me" That line. Repeat it. Live that line. You can clean those walls sweetheart. You can clean them by knowing that you are strong and just because that happened to you it doesn't define your worth as a person or who'll you'll be in the future. You will be stronger, yes. But you do not have to surrender to this [censored]s actions. *Hugs* This is simple, powerful, and brave. So brave. Take care angel. You know where I'm at if you ever need anything. Hugs and love. Bethany
I wish that, I myself had the strength to write something like tihs. Yes, I've wrote about my experiences. But, not in such a way that....eh. I don't now. Kills me to even think about something like that happening to you. You're too nice of a damn person.
I know you're going through some hard times and i wish ya all the best in getting over them...I know that you are strong, it shows in your words and in the way you think... As you say, it's life. You can either accept what has happened and cry your tears out letting others know that they have succeeded in hurting you or you can get over it, take it as one of life's lessons and spread the message letting them know that they are the fools and that they should feel your pain twice as much as you did.
Writing it out is the first step in freedom of your pain and you take as much words as you need, as much feelings as you need to get over it because once you have done this...they can't take you for nothing and they will fear you knowing that the pain they have caused you will be returned more strong than they could ever wish you...
As you can see, we're all here for you on ES. Hugs to you. Take care....
This is a very powerful peice, Jaydee. I am reminded of something "Geraldo" said awhile back on one of his shows. ".. just don't mistake me for a victim".
There is no reflection whatsoever of a "victim" in this peice. Because you choose to fight back even more so by your words.
WOW. I am speechless, this is really good. I have to say that "uterus graffiti", was an amazing way to put that, and I also like the fact that you wrote how the walls was not theirs to write on. This is so powerful, and it's great that its a step closer to you taking your life back. When someone does that, they think that they can take you away from yourself, and add you to there collection, but not you. This is amazing, and not just thaat this is an amazing poem, but the fact that you were strong enough to even think of writing a poem about it is amazing to me. The first stanza was a really show of great character, but you didn't them the satisfaction of knowing that they took away your will to live, or that they made your life harder to live. That's amazing. I love how you repeated the lines, "you can break my bosy, but you can never break me", because it adds a sense of personal power to the poem. I appreciate the fact that I got to read this. If you need to talk, I'll be here to listen. Peace,love,euphoria,hugs Aya*
Wow what an image >< That is very potent, a raw description of something that we can't ignore. My only suggestion would be that you don't need to have the repeated ' you can break my body ' ... at the end, ending at the previous stanza is more poweful, I think.
uterus graffiti is all you are and its hard to scrub those walls clean
This is haunting, and I had to say so, even though this already has 14 other comments on it. The poem is short, it doesn't give any details - but those few lines tell it all between the lines.
Oh wow, the next to last stanza is really great. I love the idea of "uterus graffiti." I like your use of parentheticals. I can't think of anything constructive to say, sorry. This piece is very well-written. I'm sorry that you've had to go through something like this. *hugs* I REALLY need to catch up on your work. If you need me, I'm here. Lots of love, Amy
There is a huge difference between being a victim and a survivor, and to me, this is just screaming that out. In being a victim, you give the person that victimized you all the power, where as here you're saying I Have The Power Because I Cannot Be Broken. I love how you say that you can break my body but you cannot break me..because there is so much more to a person than their body. It truly is what's on the inside that makes you who you are, your body is just what you are...whether it be man woman skinny fat etc. but that doesn't make the person.
When something horrible like this happens, or really anything horrible, it can indeed make or break a person, which comes the saying What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger. And to be honest, within my own personal tragedies, i wholeheartedly believe that. Sometimes things happen by force, sometimes by accident, and sometimes for no logical reason at all, but the end result is always the same. You have to decide whether you want to be a victim or a survivor.
I'm truly glad to see that you chose to be a survivor.
before i begin, the wong on yoru title page, 1st chorus, change yuor-> your.
i refuse to say (or even think) you ruined my life
refused to say . . . because that would be admitting the floating, hating you had power. refuse to think, now that harder, but suggests a stronger a denial. so who takes account for this ruined life? because we do not debate it is ruined, simply that YOU did not do it. the only anser: i did it to myself. i take responsibility. you were but a passing phantasm which allowed me to make my mistakes.
you (whoever and wherever you are) are a powerless coward
this supports my original point. interesting parenthetical, especially the whoever. is this a generalizing, blaming the floating, everpresent concept of that ignorant and uncaring male? or is it an admission that one "does not know" the YOU? interesting how the strongest and most denail ridden lines are in flat, unbroken lower case. YOU are a powerless coward is not yelled, but whispered. a very nice touch. but i still grapple with whoever. wherever is clear enough: I care not to know where you are. you are gone, and that is enough. but whoever continues to elude me . . .
you can break my body but you'll never break me
never . . . never implies that he might try again later . . . that it was his goal over time . . . strange that can is in the first sentence. can admits the ability of YOU to strike, to wound. whereas the first 2 are a firm denial of this. in those, YOU seemed only a symptom of the speakers errors, a face which fit a fault and nothing more. the timeframe also strikes me about this stanza. why isn't it past tense? this is done. he is gone. yet he lingers. if he were truly gone, if this were said looking bitterly into the past, wouldn't it be phrased:
you broke my body, but I am unbroken. and will forever be.
uterus graffiti is all you are and its hard to scrub those walls clean (walls not yours to write on) but believe me i will
that is beautiful turn of phrase. uterus graffiti. god damn. i can not overstate how much that amazed me.
again, the parenthetical, signifying a slightly weaker tone. because of course those are not his to write on, so why is it stated? it is stated because it is something the speaker uses as a mantra, tells herself whenever she thinks of it. it is one more greivance to attribute to him.
or if this is not the intention, this is how it comes to me.
believe me indicates a more angry tone. less of a cold, whisper of a wound seared closed, but a more open sore. believe me isn't necessary, except to make the point to the phantasm floating in front of you that you ARE serious, that you ARE mad. is this the slight outlet, the slight release to really show how much it still affects the writer?
you can break my body but you'll never break me
repitition is a good close. same comment on these 2 lines i used earlier.
i would like to reiterate, i love the phrase uterus graffiti. it carries the dirtiness, the trash straight to the core of purity, of sanctity. that is a wonderful peice of imagery.
well written. best of luck with those damned "taggers" and their graffiti. someday the speaker of this poem will find a kind, gentle artist, and all that graffiti will be forgotten.
the lines that really hit hardest for me was not the "uterus graffiti" part but:
you (whoever and wherever you are) are a powerless coward
the contrast between them (cowardly, silent and destructive) and you (brave, creative, defiently honest and open) really is, well, inspiring. it's not about vengence but moving on and living.
[it's] hard to scrub
i really would say more, but the other commenters have summed up my feelings so well already.
Ohhh! This is such an honest and open write. I am so sorry to read that this happened to you. I cant imagine how it must feel to have to try and deal with something like this every day. I am glad to read your outlook on this though. You are a very strong person and seemed to have handled all of this quite well. You are a survivor and your words say so. You are strong and I admire that. I hope that writing about this has helped you even if only a little bit. I have no corrections for you on this one. It is far too personal for me to say anything about. It is a very good therapeutic write and I wish you all the best. Take care.
Submission Name: bodies for breaking
(Because kittens always cheer me up a wee bit).
