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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The paper is whitedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Duke Medhat
    ASL Info:    21/Male/Egypt
    Elite Ratio:    5.08 - 58/38/24
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 373



    Description:
       Hi all, sorry for one month of absence, I was taking my last school High school exams
    This poem is about me in my last exam. It was a mechanics (statics and dynamics) exam and It

    was unsolvable (May be it was from another curriculum).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe paper is whitedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The paper is white
    Is that right!
    What should I write?
    Nothing went right

    The paper is white
    No answer in my mind
    No booklet in my sight
    Options extents are lined

    The paper is white
    Asked about forces and plane
    Answering "It deserve no pain"
    Theories are not in my brain




    Submitted on 2006-06-29 08:02:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Is this poem finished? It didn't seem finished to me, with the last line just being left open like it was...just a particular i'm used to is a period...sry. Anyway, I liked this, I could definitly feel something like stress coming out of this poem. There were some area's though...

    "Answering "It deserve no pain""

    Should there be an 's' at the end of deserve?

    Also in this line theres double 's' endings one right after another, it made the flow faulter a bit...

    "Options extents are lined"

    Other then that, your rhyme scheme was all right. It was actually pretty good, like the rhyme's weren't too obvious, but I'm just not one for rhyme's usually.

    Nice job other then those few things...


    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      What can I say, this was rather confusing, the repetitive approach didn't quite work to your favor. I liked how it was different from other poems I have read, i give you props for uniqueness.
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]


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