[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lifedots

    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/91
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 1307
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 611

       i just like to think about how our body works...
    to me it's CRAZY that without one tiny part that our body wouldn't function...
    sorry if it bored you.
    no rhyming intended.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Only in times of true dispare
    Do i find comfort in being here.

    Its in these times I often find,
    that life is most precious.

    I feel my heart as it recerculates my already
    worn blood...
    bring oxygen to my muscles.
    I see my chest rise and fall for air
    i feel the cool air
    no matter how warm
    in my throat it's always cold.
    it fills my lungs.

    reminding me that without it
    i couldn't feel the simple pleasure
    of feeling it.
    this air and this blood
    that make me feel life.

    Submitted on 2006-06-29 23:12:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The kind of depth of thought that's within this poem is what makes for great poetry. There are a few misspellings that could be easily fixed if you run the poem through a spell checker. I enjoyed this read, Sharon :-)
    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      you are distracted from so many important things..by the most peculiar... dunoo. i guess im kinda jealous of that. that you allow yourself to become captivated by things that aren't sad or depressing.
    | Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      This is real good
    I never quite looked at life the way you described it in this write
    But you speak so true
    Life is a number of important elements that fit perfectly together
    The human body is the most perfect machine in the world
    Great Job with this
    I look forward to reading more writes from you
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      hhmmm...thats interesting...i never seriously broke it down like that. i mean, i knew blood and air give us life (health 101) but i never really thought about it in terms other than that diagram (u know the one, with the muscles and the insides and such). i think this is really cool. this is my favorite line: reminding me that without it/i couldn't feel the simple pleasure/of feeling it.
    i thought this was really awesome so keep it up!!
    | Posted on 2006-06-30 00:00:00 | by Alyra | [ Reply to This ]
      crap..it occured to me ive said nothing about the poem and thats certainly not right because it was a dandy poem and deserved more attention in the comment..my bad. argh.. it was a dandy poem.. nothing wrong that i noticed..
    | Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good, I am starting to become a fan of your work.
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by MaxHam | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]