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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Motionless Facesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xana
    ASL Info:    17/F/SC
    Elite Ratio:    2.33 - 34/35/24
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 902
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 346



    Description:
       Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMotionless Facesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Motionless faces
    On wet ground lie,
    Straing in space
    With eyes open wide.

    Drenched in their tears
    Covored in soot,
    The two himispheres
    Have not understood.

    These are the ruins,
    The human decay,
    Where once open spirits
    Were brutaly slain.





    Submitted on 2006-06-30 23:32:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This part of your poem really did catch my eye:

    Drenched in their tears
    Covored in soot,
    The two himispheres
    Have not understood.


    Your poem (including the part above) had so much imagery. I could see what was going on but to tell you the truth . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . I don't really understand it. Hmmm . . . . . . . . .


    ~ G Freak ~


    >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    109070

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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