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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pme0316
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Natchitoches, LA
    Elite Ratio:    2.1 - 4/6/2
    Words: 237
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1514



    Description:
       This poem was written during a very confusing period in my life. It seemed nothing was going right for me, and I had so many questions to why things are the way they are. This poem was meant to capture that confusion, and I hope you enjoy reading this, and thank you for taking the time to read it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Confusion is the only word I know
    and silence is the only sound I hear
    thoughts remain constant in my head
    but they all seem so unclear

    Overanalyzing is my weakness
    the monster I've created
    all because I'm scared
    scared to be the one who's hated

    This lesson in patience
    is a lesson that must learned
    a credit I must gain
    for my degree in life to be earned

    Questions abound all the time
    who am I, why am I here
    The only answer I know isn't right
    is the one with drugs and beer

    My conscience is my own worst enemy
    yet I still consider it a friend
    even though it might mean
    that I have a broken heart to mend

    Today's troubles seem overwhelming
    but tomorrow's may only be worse
    at this point my philosophy is
    why fight, or spit, or curse

    Cause this struggle's not about me
    or about this illusion called life
    My purpose is to serve my God
    no matter the grief or strife

    So now my head starts to clear
    and I begin to see through the haze
    all my mistakes are made known to me
    so I'll just fix them instead of being crazed

    Thank God for all my blessings
    especially those I take for granted
    but thank you also for the struggles
    and the imperfect life I've been handed.




    Submitted on 2006-07-02 00:24:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a really good write and i have to say I love the flow, some people can't make rhymes work, but you pulled it off perfeclty. you had a lot of good points, and I think you did capture confusion and questioning things pretty well, the only thing that I didn't like about this, and I know that it's each persons right to have their own opinions and beliefs, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing but personally the whole god thing wouldn't play in to a write like this, but it's your write. so yeah other than that this was a really really good write, oh and one more small trivial thing, it's kinda a pet peeve of mine when a write doesn't have a title, it just makes it feel incomplete. but yeah this was great, I'm gonna pick out a few of my fave lines and give my perception of them just cuz I am bored & feel like it
    "all because I'm scared
    scared to be the one who's hated"
    it's almost funny how much we'll go through to be seen as 'right', to be accepted and appriciated even if it's not who we really are. it's a pointless cycle that never seems to end unless we're strong enough to stand up and put an end to it even if it's not what everyone else wants.
    "for my degree in life to be earned"
    I thought this was a cool concept because there are some things we have to go through and deal with as we live and thats an original way of putting it.
    "even though it might mean
    that I have a broken heart to mend"
    another very good point, sometimes it's hard to do the 'right' thing if that means you getting hurt but you know you should and you're mature enough to admit that.
    "Today's troubles seem overwhelming
    but tommorow's may only be worse"
    that's always a comforting thought, it could almost always be worse, and when it can't, then it's bound to get better.
    "but thank you also for the struggles
    and the imperfect life I've been handed."
    that was a sweet, lighthearted ending that is a nice change from a lot of writes on this site. all in all great write, I can't wait for your next one
    much love,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This lesson in patience
    is a lesson that must learned (be learned? ) other than that, this isn't a peice i can say much aboutm but that I hope your answers are answered and htis time in your life has passed with god endings.
    | Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      Very motivating, like a life coach speaking to a student. Your rhyme was good, but the flow was a little iffy. I liked the courage abd strenght you showed towards the end of this write and point to God as your source of support, without being pushy. This was really good. Welcome to Elite.

    Catrina

    P.S. I'm from Louisiana also.
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      
    I like it, it speaks of the reality, of the humans’ situation: confused with nothing to hold on to but the faith in god …You have two spelling errors : “tommorow's “should be “tomorrow’s” and in the first stanza it’s “but “you missed the T, it’s nothing much .

    Overanalyzing is my weakness
    the monster I've created
    all because I'm scared
    scared to be the one who's hated


    I think this is the most stanza that I can relate to it, my favorite line is:” and silence is the only sound I hear”.
    Great write, it’s nice to see some people still holding on to god even though the pain of life is constant.
    Have a nice day and welcome to elite skill, I’m sure this link will be helpful to you as it was to me.
    ~~Drakoniss~~
    | Posted on 2006-07-08 00:00:00 | by drakoniss | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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